Bomb Dates Cost Money Too

LAST CHANCE TO PREBOOK FOR SUNDAY'S FILM NIGHT click here   Question of the Week:   I am starting to lose faith in ever finding love. After swearing I would never in my life go on another blind date again, I succumbed after a friend said, you've gotta meet this girl. It was a bomb. I am not sure whether to give up all together, or just give up on blind dates. But it is exhausting me. Any message of hope for the dated-out?   Answer:   The saintly Rabbi Yisroel of Ruzhin had an unusual custom when it came to matchmaking. He would give a sizable monetary gift to anyone who suggested a match for one of his children, even if the couple didn't hit it off and the match didn't go ahead. It is customary to pay a matchmaker when a successful match is made. But to pay a matchmaker for a mismatch was unheard of. And yet this is exactly what Rabbi Yisroel did. He explained why:   In heaven it is announced who your soulmate is before you are born. An angel looks at your soul and then calls out the name of your soulmate. But do you think the angel gets it right the first time? Not always. Often the angel suggests a name, and G-d nixes it. So the angel proposes another possible soulmate, and again G-d says no. Sometimes a long list of names is called out until the right one is reached and G-d gives His approval. Each one of those names had potential to be your soulmate. But only one is destined to be yours.   Then your soul comes down here to this world and starts its search for the one. What you don't realize is that you need to meet all those other potential soulmates before you can meet your ultimate one. That's why I pay not only a matchmaker who is successful, but even one who suggests a match that doesn't work out. Because every failed relationship brings you one step closer to your soulmate.   This gives a whole new perspective on dates that go nowhere and relationships that fizzle out. They should not leave us jaded or discouraged. The lessons we learn and the experiences we gain are necessary rungs on our ladder to happiness.   So should you go on every blind date anyone ever suggests? Should you indiscriminately meet any old person, just to tally up the necessary bomb dates and get to the real thing? Rabbi Yisroel answered that one too.   There was once a sly character in his community who was short on cash. He thought he could make a quick buck by suggesting a random match for one of Rabbi Yisroel's sons. Knowing he would be paid even if it failed, he mentioned the name of the first single girl that came to mind. Rabbi Yisroel heard his suggestion patiently and said, "Some matches seem good to angels in heaven. Others at least seem reasonable to people on earth. Yours is neither."   Don't waste your time on hit and miss dating suggestions. But if someone comes up with a reasonable idea for a match, even though we don't know if it was made in heaven, give it a try down here on earth. If it doesn't work, it is not a failure, it is a step forward. Thank the matchmaker, and thank the person you met too, for bringing your soulmate one date closer.   Good Shabbos, Rabbi Moss   To subscribe CLICK HERE or email rabbimoss@nefesh.com.au     WATCH TRAILER      SERVICES AT NEFESH ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Friday Night Candlelighting 7:26pm (not before 6:16pm) Shabbos Service - 6:30pm followed by Kiddush sponsored by Sue Sznajer in honour of the first yahrzeit of her mother Rivka Rochel bat Kasriel- Long life.   Shabbos Day Class - The Spiritual Parsha 9am Morning Service 10am -12:20pm followed by Kiddush sponsored by Simone Gerry in gratitude for the support and care received from the Nefesh community and in honour of a safe trip to the US.   Special Mazel Tov to Dov Lowinger in honour of his 9th birthday!   Mincha 7:20pm   Shabbos ends 8:27pm   Sunday 8am Shachris   Mon-Fri 7am   Chassidus Shiur Mon and Thurs 8:00am - 8:45am   Latest Shema - 9:10am

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ISRAEL AT WAR

Question of the Week:    I am the only Jew in my office so I face a daily barrage of questions about Israel's Operation Pillar of Defense in Gaza. I don't know who appointed me as Israel's spokesman and I am not armed with the answers. Can you help?   Answer:   At times like this, each one of us becomes an ambassador for Israel. Even if you don't agree with everything Israel does, any decent person must stand up for Israel's right to self-defense when over a million of its citizens are under rocket attack.   We can leave the military and political issues to the experts, but we should all be clear on the moral questions raised by this war. Let's look at a few of the most commonly asked questions.   Q: How can Israel justify killing civilians if their intent is to crush Hamas terrorists?   A: The death of innocents is a tragic inevitability of any war. Our hearts go out to all bereaving families caught in the middle. The sad fact is that the Palestinian people are being held hostage by Hamas. Just as it is clear that Hamas is morally culpable for the abduction and torture of Israeli hostages such as Gilad Shalit, so too are they culpable for the fate of Palestinian innocents amongst whom they hide. A civilian who is killed while being used by a terrorist as a human shield is a victim of the terrorist, not the Israeli army, who does not target innocent civilians.    Q: Isn't Israel's response a bit disproportionate? So many more Palestinians are dying than Israelis.   A: War is not mathematics. If Israel were merely taking revenge, then it would need to be proportionate. But Israel is waging a defensive war. Since when is war proportionate? In war, you don't measure your response to the enemy by what they have done to you in the past, but rather by what needs to be done to stop them attacking in the future. Israel must destroy Hamas' capability to continue shooting rockets at Israeli cities. Israel's actions are proportionate to the present and future threat, not just the damage done in the past.   Q: Doesn't Israel understand that they are just creating more terrorists? The anger and fury at Israel as a result of bombing Gaza will only make more people want to join Hamas.   A: Feelings of frustration, anger, fear and rage do not make you into a terrorist. A culture of death and an education of hate does. Israel doesn't need to do anything to create terrorists - Islamic extremism does that. But Israel must act to destroy those who threaten its people.   Q: Hamas indeed has a militant wing, but it also does a lot of good. They are responsible for social programs, educational projects and humanitarian work in Gaza. By destroying Hamas, Israel also destroys all the good they do. Isn't that demonising a group that is not all bad?   A: If a serial killer also happens to volunteer for his local hospital, has donated money to an orphanage, and looks after his ailing grandmother, he is still a serial killer, and should be treated as such. The danger he poses far outweighs the concern for any good he may do.   Q: By using violence, how is Israel any better than its terrorist enemies?   A: That is as ridiculous as saying that a woman who fights off an attacker is no better than her attacker. Israel would not touch Hamas if Hamas would stop sending rockets and suicide bombers into Israel. Israel seeks to live in peace with its neighbours. Hamas and its allies seek to destroy Israel, no matter what Israel does.   For Hamas, war is holy. For Israel, war can never be holy. War may be necessary, like when your citizens are being attacked unprovoked; war may be moral, like when innocent lives are being threatened; but even then, war is never holy. There is a world of difference between a moral war and a holy war. A moral soldier fights reluctantly, while holy warriors glory in the fight. A moral soldier is burdened by the obligation, while holy warriors delight in the pain inflicted on the enemy. A moral soldier fights when there is no other option; a holy warrior seeks violence as a way of life. A moral soldier takes measures to limit innocent casualties; a holy warrior seeks to maximise them.   A holy warrior fears times of peace, because then he has no purpose. A moral soldier dreams of a time when peace will reign. Then, the Israel Defense Force will be made joyously redundant, as "one nation will not lift a sword against another nation, and they will no longer learn to wage war".    Good Shabbos, Rabbi Moss   Dedicated to the memory of Mira Scharf, Rabbi Aharon Smadja and Yitzchak Amsalem, victims of Hamas' war against Israel   Please do a mitzvah and pray for the speedy recovery of: Shmuel ben Chaya Sarah Yehudit  Yosef Yitzchak ben Mira Rut Chana bat Mira Rut Geulah bat Mira Rut and all injured from the rocket attacks in southern Israel.   To subscribe CLICK HERE or email rabbimoss@nefesh.com.au   NEW KABBALAH SERIES Wired for Romance - Kabbalistic teachings on the role of the mind in loving relationships.    Concludes this Tuesdays Nov 20, 8.15 - 9.15pm at Nefesh Love is centered in the heart. But love is not just about feelings. The mind plays a vital but often neglected part in forming the romantic bond. This series explores how intellect impacts emotion and how we can use our brains to improve the way we love.   MEANINGFUL MOTHERHOOD - Discussion for mothers and babies with Nechama Dina Moss and Shterny Dadon Mondays 10am-11:15am at Nefesh               WATCH TRAILER      SERVICES AT NEFESH ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Friday Night Candlelighting 7:19pm (not before 6:09pm) Mincha 6:15pm Shabbos Service - 6:30pm followed by Kiddush in honour of the 8th birthday of Batya Moss - Mazel tov!   Shabbos Day Class - The Spiritual Parsha 9am Morning Service 10am -12:20pm followed by Kiddush sponsored by Stuart Shaw in honour of his birthday- Mazel Tov!   During the Kiddush we will hear an update and personal insight on the situation in southern Israel from Shlomo Ben-Haiem, a representative of Keren Kayemet Leyisrael-JNF   Mincha 7:10pm followed by Seudah Shlishis and Maariv Shabbos ends 8:19pm   Sunday 8am Shachris   Weekday Minyan Mon-Fri 7am   Chassidus Shiur Mon and Thurs 8:00am - 8:45am

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Can We Schedule an Argument?

Question of the Week:   I have a problem. My fiancée and I never fight. I have heard that relationships can only grow through tension, that only when we have a disagreement and then work through it can we get closer. But what can I do? We simply agree on everything. Now I'm nervous. Should we be arranging some arguments? Maybe a weekly roster with a list of topics to fight about, and then make up afterwards? Answer:   Pre-arranged fights only work if you are a professional wrestler. Not so in a marriage. To get the desired effect, the argument needs to be real. I am afraid you will have to wait for an authentic argument to be able to truly reconcile. This is based on some Talmudic logic. The Talmud teaches that one who has sinned but then asks for forgiveness comes closer to G-d than someone who never sinned. This means that a person who was wicked but left their evil ways reaches higher than a person who has always done the right thing. If so, the Talmud asks, should a righteous person intentionally sin, in order to have the opportunity to change his ways? After all, he can't reach the level of a reformed sinner if he never sins. The answer is no, he shouldn't sin. One reason is, he might enjoy it and never repent. But more than that, if he sins just to repent, his repentance will not be sincere because his sin was not sincere. If you sin just to get closer to G-d, you never rebelled properly. And if you didn't rebel, you can't truly regret. If you didn't actually go off the path you can't get back on. The same applies in our relationships with our fellow humans. Just like you can't plan to sin in order to repent, you can't plan an argument in order to make up. It isn't sincere. Just as making up has to be genuine, arguing has to be genuine too. If the rift is not real, the resolution that comes later won't be either. You have to feel that moment of despair, when you think things have fallen apart and all is lost. From that moment of darkness comes a glimmer of hope, and you rebuild. It is wonderful that you and your fiancée see eye to eye. But don't worry, times of tension will come. Two individuals sharing intimate space is recipe enough for some friction to eventually develop. And when it does, embrace it as an opportunity to learn something about your partner. If she never upsets you, she can't know who you are. If you don't know what her boundaries are, you don't know her. And you can only know those boundaries by accidently crossing them. Every sin is a chance to uncover a more profound level of connection with G-d, and every argument is an opportunity to dig deeper in your relationship with your partner. To argue is human. To make peace is divine.   Good Shabbos, Rabbi Moss   To subscribe CLICK HERE or email rabbimoss@nefesh.com.au     NEW KABBALAH SERIES Wired for Romance - Kabbalistic teachings on the role of the mind in loving relationships.  Continues Tuesdays Nov 13 and 20, 8.15 - 9.15pm at Nefesh Love is centered in the heart. But love is not just about feelings. The mind plays a vital but often neglected part in forming the romantic bond. This series explores how intellect impacts emotion and how we can use our brains to improve the way we love.   MEANINGFUL MOTHERHOOD - Discussion for mothers and babies with Nechama Dina Moss and Shterny Dadon Mondays 10am-11:15am at Nefesh           WATCH TRAILER      SERVICES AT NEFESH ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Friday Night Candlelighting 7:12pm (not before 6:04pm) Mincha 6:15pm Shabbos Service - 6:30pm followed by Kiddush to farewell Lili Koos who is returning to Hungary - we wish you well!   Shabbos Day Class - The Spiritual Parsha 9am Morning Service 10am -12:20pm followed by Kiddush   Shabbos Mevorchim Kislev farbrengen sponsored by Chazzan Isser in honour of his thirtieth birthday- Mazel Tov!   Mincha 7:05pm followed by Seudah Shlishis and Maariv Shabbos ends 8:12pm   Sunday 8am Shachris   Weekday Minyan Mon-Fri 7am Rosh Chodesh Thursday   Chassidus Shiur Mon and Thurs 8:00am - 8:45am

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Is Sport a Religion?

Wired for Romance starts Tuesday - GOLF DAY - FILM SCREENING see below   Question of the Week:   I wanted to ask you for your opinion on the topic of sport and G-d. My husband is quickly losing his faith in G-d due to his team not winning. Every time his team loses, he loses his faith more and more. I want to try and give him a way of looking at it differently and rather than blaming G-d for another losing game, blaming the players, and perhaps just watching less sport???    Answer:   How about telling him this. It is not a rational reaction to lose faith because your team is losing. Rather than switch beliefs, it would make more sense to switch teams.   After all, surely fans on both sides of any game are praying for their team to win. Only one of those prayers can be answered affirmatively. If yours is losing, it doesn't mean  G-d isn't there, just maybe He is on the other side. So if G-d is with them, shouldn't you be too?   This argument will of course have absolutely no effect on him. I can't imagine a real sports fan exchanging loyalties just because his team keeps losing. Well, that's what having faith means. No matter what happens, we only have one G-d, and we stick with Him. In fact, the very word for faith in Hebrew is Emunah, which actually means loyalty. Just like a fan never switches sides no matter what, a believer is loyal to G-d come what may.   In a way, it is wonderful that the biggest tragedy in his life is his team losing. May it always be that way. But he needs to maintain perspective and disentangle his faith from his fanhood. Sport is recreation, diversion, relaxation, entertainment. If it is bringing such angst and frustration, it is not serving its purpose. Sport is about playing, not praying.   I don't know if you will succeed in convincing him to watch less sport. But maybe he can become less invested in it. His emotional and spiritual energies should be saved for his real team, the team that truly needs him - his family, his community, his people and his G-d.   Good Shabbos, Rabbi Moss   To subscribe CLICK HERE or email rabbimoss@nefesh.com.au     NEW KABBALAH SERIES Wired for Romance - Kabbalistic teachings on the role of the mind in loving relationships.     Tuesdays Nov 6,13 and 20, 8.15 - 9.15pm at Nefesh Love is centered in the heart. But love is not just about feelings. The mind plays a vital but often neglected part in forming the romantic bond. This series explores how intellect impacts emotion and how we can use our brains to improve the way we love.       MEANINGFUL MOTHERHOOD - Discussion for mothers and babies with Nechama Dina Moss and Shterny Dadon Mondays 10am-11:15am at Nefesh         Film Screening Leap of Faith Sunday November 25th at 7pm  This feature-length documentary is the first ever film to explore the phenomenon of religious conversion. In "Leap of Faith" we follow four families through their attempt at conversion to Judaism. Some make it, others don't. We will witness a host of crises and triumphs and often surprising consequences.     Who makes it through conversion and who doesn't? Would you be able to convert if you weren't born Jewish? What do converts have to do to become Jewish?   Come along for an inspiring and fascinating film followed by a Q & A session   When: 7pm for a 7.30pm start, Sunday 25th November Where: Nefesh 45 Roscoe Street Cost: $10 tickets presales online, $13 at the door   Popcorn, sweets and drinks will be available for sale.   BOOK NOW HERE SERVICES AT NEFESH ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Friday Night Candlelighting 7:06pm (not before 5:59pm) Mincha 6:15pm Shabbos Service - 6:30pm followed by Kiddush.   Shabbos Day Class - The Spiritual Parsha 9am Morning Service 10am -12:20pm followed by Kiddush sponsored by Richelle and Peter Goldshaft in honour of their 40th wedding anniversary and Lana and Robert Goldshaft in honour of their 3rd wedding anniversary- Mazal Tov!   Mincha 7:00pm followed by Seudah Shlishis and Maariv Shabbos ends 8:05pm   Sunday 8am Shachris   Weekday Minyan Mon-Fri 7am   Chassidus Shiur Mon and Thurs 8:00am - 8:45am

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