Thursday, December 20, 2018

What If We Never Argue?

Question of the Week:
 
I have a problem. My fiancée and I never fight. I have heard that relationships can only grow through tension, that only when we have a disagreement and then work through it can we get closer. But what can I do? We simply agree on everything. Now I'm nervous. Should we be arranging some arguments? Maybe a weekly roster with a list of topics to fight about, and then make up afterwards?

Answer:
 
Pre-arranged fights only work if you are a professional wrestler. Not so in a marriage. To get the desired effect, the argument needs to be real. I am afraid you will have to wait for an authentic argument to be able to truly reconcile.

This is based on some Talmudic logic. The Talmud teaches that one who has sinned but then asks for forgiveness comes closer to G-d than someone who never sinned. This means that a person who was wicked but left their evil ways reaches higher than a person who has always done the right thing.

If so, the Talmud asks, should a righteous person intentionally sin, in order to have the opportunity to change his ways? After all, he can't reach the level of a reformed sinner if he never sins.

The answer is no, he shouldn't sin. One reason is, he might enjoy it and never repent. But more than that, if he sins just to repent, his repentance will not be sincere because his sin was not sincere. If you sin just to get closer to G-d, you never rebelled properly. And if you didn't rebel, you can't truly regret. If you didn't actually go off the path you can't get back on.

The same applies in our relationships with our fellow humans. Just like you can't plan to sin in order to repent, you can't plan an argument in order to make up. It isn't sincere. Just as making up has to be genuine, arguing has to be genuine too. If the rift is not real, the resolution that comes later won't be either. You have to feel that moment of despair, when you think things have fallen apart and all is lost. From that moment of darkness comes a glimmer of hope, and you rebuild.

It is wonderful that you and your fiancée see eye to eye. But don't worry, times of tension will come. Two individuals sharing intimate space is recipe enough for some friction to eventually develop. And when it does, embrace it as an opportunity to learn something about your partner. If she never upsets you, she can't know who you are. If you don't know what her boundaries are, you don't know her. And you can only know those boundaries by accidently crossing them.

Every sin is a chance to uncover a more profound level of connection with G-d, and every argument is an opportunity to dig deeper in your relationship with your partner. To argue is human. To make peace is divine.
 
Good Shabbos, 
Rabbi Moss

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ALL SERVICES AT NEFESH 
 
1 FRANCIS ST BONDI BEACH
 
(OFF CAMPBELL PDE, BEHIND NOAH'S BACKPACKERS)

 
Sponsor a Kiddush 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FRIDAY NIGHT 28 December OR 18 January:  
BASIC $120 undefined or DELUXE $200 undefined
 
SHABBOS DAY 5 January or 12 January: 
STANDARD $350 undefined or LUNCH (*FROM $450 - email office@nefesh.com.au for lunch options) 
SHABBOS TIMES & COMMUNITY INFO: VAYECHI
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Friday, 21 December 2018 | 13 Teves 5779
Candle Lighting............ 7:47pm (Not before 6:39pm)
Mincha........................ 6:15pm
Shabbos Service........... 6:30-7:20pm
Kids Program................6:30pm
Kiddush sponsored by Libby Moss & Peter Irving in honour of the yortzheit for their late grandmother, Jesse Stanley 13 Teves/ Friday 21 December- Long Life

Shabbos Day, 22 December 2018 | 14 Teves 5779
In depth parsha class ..................... 9:00am
Shabbos Service............................ 10:00am-12:20pm
Kids Program ............................... 10:30am
Followed by Kiddush
 
Mincha followed by Seudah Shlishis ..........7:50pm
Gematria and Story by Rev Amzalak......... 8:10pm
Shiur with Rabbi Moss............................. 8:30pm
Shabbos ends........................................ 8:50pm
Followed by Havdalah
 
WEEKDAY SERVICES
Sunday, Tuesday & Wednesday (Pub.Hol)...... 8:00am
Mon & Fri.................................................. 7:00am
Latest Shema this week.............................. 9:14am
 
 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Shai Behrman...................... 17 Tevet/ Tuesday 25 December
 
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY
Tooti & Gavin Kotkin............. 19 Tevet/ Thursday 27 December
Jared & Lauren Kaplan........... 20 Tevet/ Friday 28 December
 
LONG LIFE
Rae Kaplan for her late husband Alan Lester Kaplan
Baruch Avraham Yitzchak ben Natan.......... 12 Tevet/ Thursday 20 December

Harold Judelman for his late mother Esther Judelman
Sheina Ester bat Chaim Guttel....................14 Tevet/ Saturday 22 December

Michelle Brenner for her late father Alexander Brenner18 Tevet/ Wednesday 26 December

Steven, Kim and Roy Eckowitz for their late father Henry Eckowitz
Chona ben Shmuel.................................... 20 Tevet/ Friday 28 December

Hana Krawchuk for her late grandfather Isaac Bobrov
Yitchak Bobrov......................................... 20 Tevet/ Friday 28 December

Lesley Judelman for her late father Sam Steinhard
Zalman ben Moshe.................................... 20 Tevet/ Friday 28 December

Nefesh Shul, PO Box 7349, 0416 822 832, Bondi Beach, NSW 2026 Australia
Sent by rabbimoss@nefesh.com.au in collaboration with
Constant Contact

Thursday, December 13, 2018

A Jew is a Jew

A JEW IS A JEW

There has been heated discussion in the Sydney community about the long-standing policy of Moriah College to only admit halachically Jewish students. 
 
This is a sensitive and delicate issue that elicits strong emotions. In the cloudiness of those emotions, some of the facts are being overlooked. It is not about inclusion, it's about who is a Jew. So we thought to clarify the issues:
 
Do the Orthodox accept Reform Jews as Jews?
A Jew is a Jew. Whether Orthodox, Reform or no affiliation, anyone born of a Jewish mother or converted according to Halacha is Jewish. We embrace every Jew as our brother or sister, no matter what.
 
So what is the controversy about?
As an Orthodox school, Moriah College's constitution stipulates a policy of only accepting halachic Jews. This does not include someone who has converted outside of Orthodoxy, or the children of a mother who converted outside of Orthodoxy. This policy is understandably hurtful to those who do not comply with this definition. 
 
Isn't Moriah being divisive by not accepting students who are not halachically Jewish?
There is nothing controversial about an Orthodox school upholding a policy which maintains the millennia old definition of a Jew. Any religious school should be allowed to define its own fundamental principles and who its clientele is. 
 
Shouldn't these things move with the times?
The Torah is eternal and unchanging. It has an inbuilt system that deals with new situations and modern innovations, but the very definition of Jewish identity is not subject to change. 
 
Shouldn't we be tolerant of other views?
Yes, and tolerance goes both ways. The Orthodox community attempts to uphold the Torah and its eternal values. No one is forcing anyone else to accept those values, but no one should be forced to forsake them. 
 
What do you say to a family who believes they are Jewish but are being rejected?
It must be very painful, and we are sorry for any hurt. But you are not being rejected. There is a path for anyone who was not born Jewish to embrace Judaism - halachic conversion. We will support anyone who sincerely wishes to pursue that path. 
 
Not everyone is Jewish. Anyone can become a Jew. But you have to follow the process that Judaism has defined. We don't ensure Jewish continuity by changing what it means to be Jewish - that is not continuity. We ensure the Jewish future by teaching our kids what it means to be Jewish.

We commend Moriah College for staying true to this message.

Signed by Rabbis:
Yanky Berger (Chabad Double Bay)
Davey Blackman (JLC)
Motti Feldman (Dover Heights Shul)
Michoel Gourarie (BINA)
Chaim Koncepolski (Cremorne)
Paul Lewin (North Shore Synagogue)
Aron Moss (Nefesh)
Dovy Rapoport (Kehillat Kadimah)
Levi Wolff (Central Synagogue)



To subscribe CLICK HERE or email rabbimoss@nefesh.com.au     
 
   

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ALL SERVICES AT NEFESH 
 
1 FRANCIS ST BONDI BEACH
 
(OFF CAMPBELL PDE, BEHIND NOAH'S BACKPACKERS)

 
Sponsor a Kiddush 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FRIDAY NIGHT 28 December OR 11 Jan:  
BASIC $120 undefined or DELUXE $200 undefined
 
SHABBOS DAY 15 or 22 December: 
STANDARD $350 undefined or LUNCH (*FROM $450 - email office@nefesh.com.au for lunch options) 
SHABBOS TIMES & COMMUNITY INFO: VAYIGASH
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Friday, 14 December 2018 | 6 Teves 5779
Candle Lighting............ 7:43pm (Not before 6:35pm)
Mincha........................ 6:15pm
Shabbos Service........... 7:00-7:50pm
Kids Program................ 7:00pm
Followed by Kiddush

Shabbos Day, 15 December 2018 | 7 Teves 5779
In depth parsha class ...................... 9:00am
Shabbos Service............................ 10:00am-12:20pm
Kids Program ............................... 10:30am
Followed by Kiddush
 
Mincha followed by Seudah Shlishis .............7:45pm
Gematria and Story by Rev Amzalak............ 8:05pm
Shiur with Rabbi Moss................................ 8:25pm
Shabbos ends........................................... 8:46pm
Followed by Havdalah
 
WEEKDAY SERVICES
Sunday............................ 8:00am
Mon- Fri............................. 7:00am
Latest Shema this week....... 9:14am
Tuesday 18 December | Fast of the Tenth of Teves
Begins............................... 4:02am
Ends.................................. 8:33pm

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Willow Glick................. 9 Tevet/ Monday 17 December
 
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY
Dale & Tal Levin.................... 7 Tevet/ Saturday 15 December
Gavin & Beatrish Gordon........ 9 Tevet/ Monday 17 December
Gilda & Jonathan Shapira...... 12 Tevet/ Thursday 20 December
Sarah & Benjy Reid.............. 12 Tevet/ Thursday 20 December
Greg & Leah Weinstein......... 13 Tevet/ Friday 21 December
 
LONG LIFE
Peppi Glick for his late mother Ettie Glick ....... 10 Tevet/ Tuesday 18 December
Rae Kaplan for his late brother Alan Lester Kaplan
Baruch Avraham Yitzchak ben Natan............... 12 Tevet/ Thursday 20 December
Libby Moss & Peter Irving for their late grandmother
Jesse Stanley............................................... 13 Teves/ Friday 21 December
Nefesh Shul, PO Box 7349, 0416 822 832, Bondi Beach, NSW 2026 Australia
Sent by rabbimoss@nefesh.com.au in collaboration with
Constant Contact

Thursday, December 6, 2018

Life is Spinning Out of Control?

TONIGHT light candles at home after 6:30pm
SHUL MENORAH LIGHTING 6:45pm
SHABBOS SERVICE 7pm

Question of the Week:

We are having a cultural day at work where people share their religious customs. I have three minutes to talk about Chanukah and wanted to talk about the dreidel (someone else is speaking about the Menorah). Is there a deeper meaning to spinning the dreidel on Chanukah that I could easily present? 

Answer:

Take a dreidel and spin it. Let everyone watch. It's fascinating. You never know which side it will land on. It could fall on the Gimmel, which means you win, or the Shin, which means you lose.

It seems totally random. You just spin and something happens. But really it isn't. Every spin has an exact amount of kinetic energy to cause a measured number of turns. The table surface provides an exact amount of friction, and the air pushes the dreidel in a certain way, so it falls exactly as it is supposed to. Nothing is left to chance.

Life is like that. It may seem random sometimes. Things just happen, you win or you lose, it falls this way or that for no apparent reason. But that is not really so. There is a divine hand spinning the world. Every turn is deliberate, every experience you have is supposed to happen, and whether you win or lose, there is a reason behind it.

There are no self-spinning dreidels. There is always a hand behind the spin. And you are exactly where you are meant to be.

Good Shabbos and Happy Chanukah,
Rabbi Moss

To subscribe CLICK HERE or email rabbimoss@nefesh.com.au     
 
   

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ALL SERVICES AT NEFESH 
 
1 FRANCIS ST BONDI BEACH
 
(OFF CAMPBELL PDE, BEHIND NOAH'S BACKPACKERS)

 
Sponsor a Kiddush 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FRIDAY NIGHT 14 December OR 28 December:  
BASIC $120 undefined or DELUXE $200 undefined
 
SHABBOS DAY 15 or 22 December: 
STANDARD $350 undefined or LUNCH (*FROM $450 - email office@nefesh.com.au for lunch options) 
SHABBOS TIMES & COMMUNITY INFO: Mikeitz
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Friday, 7 December 2018 | 29 Kislev 5779
Candle Lighting............ 7:38pm (Not before 6:30pm)
Menorah Lighting at Shul ...... 6:45pm
Shabbos Service............7:00-7:50pm
Kids Program............... 7:00pm
Kiddush with Donuts & Latkas!

Shabbos Day, 8 December 2018 | 30 Kislev 5779 | Rosh Chodesh Teves
In depth parsha class ...................... 9:00am
Shabbos Service............................ 10:00am-12:20pm
Kids Program ............................... 10:30am
Kiddush sponsored by Orly and Joshua Borenstein.
L'Chaim in honour of Jack & Leyat Reuben's wedding anniversary- Mazal Tov!
 
Mincha followed by Seudah Shlishis ..........7:35pm
Gematria and Story by Rev Amzalak......... 8:00pm
Shiur with Rabbi Moss............................. 8:20pm
Shabbos ends........................................ 8:40pm
Followed by Havdalah & Menorah Lighting
 
WEEKDAY SERVICES
Sunday............................. 8:00am
Mon- Fri............................ 7:00am
Latest Shema this week....... 9:09am

MAZAL TOV
Shaya Sufrin on his Hanochas Tefillin this past week in preparation for his Bar Mitzvah in two months' time!
 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Aviv Farhy........... 2 Tevet/ Monday 10 December
Amber Lessem..... 3 Tevet/ Tuesday 11 December
Vera Feuermann... 5 Tevet/ Thursday 13 December
Gavi Sufrin ..........6 Tevet/ Friday 14 December
 
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY
Jack & Leyat Reuben........ 2 Tevet/ Monday 10 December
Lina & Richie Barel........... 3 Tevet/ Tuesday 11 December
 
LONG LIFE
Gavin Krawchuk for his late grandfather David Sandler
David ben Mordechai......... 3 Tevet/ Tuesday 11 December
Linda Isdale for her late mother Joyce Vilensky
Simcha bat Aharon............. 4 Tevet / Wednesday 12 December
Nefesh Shul, PO Box 7349, 0416 822 832, Bondi Beach, NSW 2026 Australia
Sent by rabbimoss@nefesh.com.au in collaboration with
Constant Contact