The Riddle of the Double Naming

Question of the Week: I'm so embarrassed to write this. We have just realised that we named our second son with exactly the same Hebrew name as our oldest son. They are both Chaim Leib! We feel so silly. They are names of two of our late grandfathers and we simply forgot that we already used those names. Is there anything we can do? The younger one is two, and the oldest is already five so I want to fix it before his bar mitzvah! Answer: Don't be embarrassed. You are in good company. The great Talmudic sage Rav Chisda had two sons with the same name. They were both called Mar. To differentiate them, one was known as Young Mar and the other, Old Mar. Here's a Talmudic riddle: Who do you think was older, Young Mar or Old Mar? Young Mar of course! He was called Young Mar because he was born when his parents were young, while Old Mar was born in their older years. So Old Mar was younger, and Young Mar was older. Obviously. We don't know why Rav Chisda named his sons the same name, but it is not the common practice. Your boys need their own names. On a practical level, to avoid confusion, and on a spiritual level, to give each their own soul identity, you need to do what Rav Chisda did and differentiate their names. In your case, since you were not all that much older when the younger one was born, adding Young and Old epithets won't work. Luckily, there is a much simpler solution. Since both your children have two names, you can use one for each and drop the other. So the older can be Chaim, the younger Leib. Or the other way around. And you don't need any ceremony. Just using the one name for each causes the other name to be forgotten. May you only have nachas from them, and may they grow to be great scholars like Young and Old Mar. Good Shabbos, Rabbi Moss    Sources: Rashi on Kesubos 89b says Young Mar was younger, Old Mar was older. But Tosfos on Baba Basra 7b says the opposite. The seniority of Young Mar is indicated by the fact that he is mentioned first when the Talmud quotes the two brothers together. (Note: Mar may not have been their name. Mar means 'master.' It could be a title, or it could be a name.) Likkutei Sichos 17 p 474

 

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THIS WEEK'S VIDEO

live every Tuesday 8pm  Facebook.com/rabbimoss  

 

 

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THIS WEEK'S  PODCASTS

Hearing Aids, Microphones and Door knockers On Shabbos

 

 

 

 

 

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SHABBOS SERVICES & COMMUNITY INFORMATION: DEVARIM

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Here are some instructions for praying at home. Page numbers are from the blue Chabad Siddur. Don't have one? You can download it here and print it.

We will hold services for those who would like to attend, 5:30pm Friday and 10am Shabbos morning. PLEASE REGISTER HERE

 

Friday 24 July – 3 Av

Light Candles.................................................... 4:52pm

Before 5:10pm:...................................... Mincha p101

After 5:38pm............ Shabbos evening service p154

Kiddush.................................................................... p179

 

Saturday 25 July – 4 Av  

Morning Service for Shabbos:

p5-25, p181-219, Torah reading for Devarim, Mussaf p234, Kiddush p248.  

 

Virtual Lechaim 1:30pm - raise a glass and have us all in mind!

 

Before 5:10pm ....................................... Mincha p253

Pirkei Avos .......................................... Chapter 2 p291

After 5:38pm ........................................... Maariv p161

Shabbos Ends.................................................... 5:50pm

Havdala p297

Latest Shema this week.................................. 9:25am

 

Tisha B'Av  

Fast Begins  .................. Wednesday 29 July, 5:14pm

Fast Ends............................ Thursday 30 July, 5:41pm

 

MAZAL TOV

Rabbi Chanoch & Sarah Chana Sufrin on Benzion's Bar Mitzvah this past week.
 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Nicholas Levy.................................... 5 Av/ Sunday 26 July
 

LONG LIFE FOR YORTZHEITS

Peter Pakula for his late father Henry Pakula                                  Chaim Hanoh ben Yosef   4 Av/ Saturday 25 July

Ivan Basserabie for his late father

Moshe Chaim ben Avrohom.......... 9 Av/ Thursday 30 July

If you would like Nefesh to include your Birthday, Anniversary or Yortzheit in our newsletter and send you an email reminder, just fill in this quick ONLINE FORM

 

 

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Did You Get the Hint?

Jews and Muslims: New podcast episode

Question of the Week:   I friend lost his mother and is sitting shiva. I’m not the closest to him so wasn’t sure if I should go visit or just wait a bit and give him a call. What is the etiquette around visiting a mourner? Answer: The two most important things you need to know about visiting a mourner are: when to come and when to leave. Jewish tradition gives us very clear instructions on both.  It is customary for mourners to leave the door of their home unlocked during the week of mourning. Visitors just walk in unannounced. What would be considered rude in other circumstances is quite acceptable in this case. And there is good reason. Many of us have a natural aversion to visiting someone in pain. We don’t know what to say, and we aren’t sure if they really want us there. But at the core of it, we are just scared. Scared to face intense emotion, uncomfortable at the thought of seeing someone grieve. This fear is misplaced, and we need to overcome it.  So the door is left unlocked. It is up to the friends and family of the mourner to take the initiative and just show up. Don’t wait for an invitation to visit someone in pain. Don’t ask if they want you to be there. Just go.  Once you're inside, take your cues from the mourner. Let them lead the conversation. If they want to talk about their loss, listen and empathise. If they want to change the subject and talk about the weather, follow their lead.  But most importantly, take the hint when they want you to leave. Whether you’ve been there for an hour or you only just walked in, when the mourner indicates it’s time to go, it’s time to go. Watch their body language. If they do something like hitting their two hands on their knees, sigh and say “ok”, that’s your cue to get up and leave. Or listen to what they are saying. If you hear, “You must be busy, thanks so much for coming,” that’s a nice way of saying the visit has ended.  You arrive uninvited, to show that you care. You leave as soon as you get the hint,which also shows that you care. You showed up at the door, and that is the greatest comfort you can give.  Good Shabbos, Rabbi Moss  Sources: Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 376 The widespread custom to leave the door open or unlocked has no written source. The practical reason is not to inconvenience the mourners to have to get up every time someone knocks.   To subscribe CLICK HERE or email rabbimoss@nefesh.com.au THIS WEEK'S PODCASTS THIS WEEK'S VIDEOS live every Tuesday 8pm www.facebook.com/rabbimoss/live The Legend of the Brothers and the Temple Mount - fact or fiction? Have you heard the story of the two brothers embracing on the top of a mountain, that later became the site of the Temple? Do you know where this story is from? You wouldn't believe it.... SHABBOS SONGS AUDIO ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To help you recreate the holy energy of shul in your home, here are recordings of the Friday night tunes we sing at Nefesh, created by the super-talented Zalmy Okunov. Download and listen to them during the week, so when it comes to Shabbos, you can be the chazan! Note: they are not to be played on Shabbos itself - nothing can replace your own voice on Shabbos. CLICK HERE OR ON THE IMAGE. ENJOY!  SHABBOS SERVICES & COMMUNITY INFORMATION: PINCHAS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Nefesh community looks forward to getting back together! In the meantime, make your Shabbos special by doing your own little service at home. Here are some instructions. Page numbers are from the blue Chabad Siddur. Don't have one? You can download it here and print it. We will run a minimal Friday Night Service tonight 5:30pm and minyan with Torah reading tomorrow 10am. To register CLICK HERE Friday 10 July - 18 Tammuz Light Candles............................................... 4:44pm Before 5:02pm:.................................. Mincha p101 After 5:29pm........... Shabbos evening service p154 Kiddush............................................................ p179   Saturday 11 July – 19 Tammuz   Morning Service for Shabbos: p5-25, p181-219, Torah readings for Pinchas, Mussaf p234, Kiddush p248.     Virtual Lechaim 1:30pm - raise a glass and have us all in mind!   Before 5:02pm ................................... Mincha p253 Pirkei Avos ...................................... Chapter 6 p291 After 5:29pm ...................................... Maariv p161 Shabbos Ends.............................................. 5:42pm Havdala p297 Latest Shema this week.............................. 9:28am   This week’s online class with Rabbi Moss (Tues 30 June 8pm) sponsored in honour of Dovid Shmuel Hakohen Weinberger’s Birthday which was on the 6 Tammuz- Mazal Tov!       MAZEL TOV Greg and Simone Moshel on the birth of a baby girl! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Ari Smaller................... 19 Tammuz/ Saturday 11 July Rafael Deubler............... 20 Tammuz/ Sunday 12 July Deborah Bui............ 23 Tammuz/ Wednesday 15 July Chana Moss...................... 25 Tammuz/ Friday 17 July Elimelech Moss................ 25 Tammuz/ Friday 17 July CONDOLENCES Lance Radus and family on the passing of his father Ian in South Africa LONG LIFE FOR YORTZHEITS Marlene Franks for her late mother Cecily Wolman Tsovia bat Sabsa Welva...22 Tammuz/ Tuesday 14 July Zelman Nissen for his late father Michael Judah Nissen Michael Judah ben Avrom...22 Tammuz/ Tuesday 14 July Judy Swaab for her late mother Adel Reves Sarah bat Avraham...22 Tammuz/ Tuesday 14 July Adele Glick for her late mother Nachama Rieback...22 Tammuz/ Tuesday 14 July Joseph Newman for his late uncle Cyril Moshe Shostak...23 Tammuz/ Wednesday 15 July Jon Shapira for his late mother Judith Esther Shapira Yehudith Esther bat Shmuel...23 Tammuz/ Wed 15 July Brian Schwartz for his late mother Rebecca (Becks) Schwartz Sara Rivka bat Moshe...24 Tammuz/ Thurs 16 July Rebecca Steiner-Carrion for her late friend Anna Fisher Channa bat Leib...25 Tammuz/ Friday 17 July If you would like Nefesh to include your Birthday, Anniversary or Yortzheit in our newsletter and send you an email reminder, just fill in this quick ONLINE FORM  

Nefesh | PO Box 7349, Bondi Beach, NSW 2026 Australia Unsubscribe shmuly77d@gmail.com Update Profile | About Constant Contact Sent by rabbimoss@nefesh.com.au in collaboration with Try email marketing for free today!

Oops, I made a mistake

KUMZITZ this Saturday night!

Question of the Week:   I think I'm too sloppy for organised religion. I try to keep Shabbos, but often make a mistake and turn on a light. I do have a kosher home, but the amount of times I've accidentally put the milk spoon into the meat pot is embarrassing. I read the prayers but my Hebrew is so bad even G-d must have trouble understanding me. I'm not perfect and never will be. So why bother striving for perfection if I know I'll never get there? Answer: You are right. You should not strive for perfection. It's not the Jewish way. Improvement? Yes. But perfection? No. I learnt this truth many years ago. I was just eighteen, studying in a Yeshiva in Israel along with several hundred other students from around the world. I hadn't been there long, but was quickly swept up in the atmosphere of intense Torah study and idealistic spiritual growth. I was loving it. But then, one morning, a mini-crisis happened. Just after prayers, one of my friends came over to me with a concerned look on his face. "I think your Tefillin may not be kosher," he told me. (Tefillin are phylacteries. I don't know what phylacteries are.) I asked him what he meant, and he pointed out to me that my head Tefillin didn't look perfectly square. It seemed that one of the corners was not an exact right angle. This was serious. The hand-made leather boxes of the Tefillin are supposed to be square. If they aren't square, then they aren't Tefillin. They aren't even phylacteries. If my friend was right, if my Tefillin were slightly off, then I hadn't been wearing kosher Tefillin for years. I had been putting on unsquare unkosher Tefillin every day, which is as good as not putting Tefillin on at all.   I knew what I needed to do. I needed my head Tefillin examined. I rushed straight away to an expert in Jewish law. He was a senior rabbi who was famous for his decisive and clear judgments. I brought him my Tefillin and showed him the imperfect corner, fearfully awaiting his verdict. The rabbi inspected the Tefillin, looked at me with his kind and wise eyes and smiled. He responded with one line, a quote from the Talmud: "The Torah wasn't given to angels." I immediately understood what he meant. My Tefillin were just fine. When the Torah says to make your Tefillin square, it means you should make them as square as is humanly possible. We aren't perfect angels, and we can't make perfect angles. We are humans who can only do our best. And that is exactly what G-d requires from us. If G-d wanted perfection, He would not have created us fallible humans. But He did create us, so perfection is obviously not what He wants. He wants us humans, not in spite of our sloppiness, but because of it. Perfection G-d has already. Imperfection on the other hand only we can give Him, when we dedicate our imperfect lives to His service.   Our squares won't be perfect squares, and our angles won't be exactly right. Humans make mistakes and sometimes get it wrong. But that's alright. We are not angels. We are not expected to be. G-d wants your sloppy Shabbos. He wants your messy kosher kitchen. And He loves your attempt at Hebrew prayers. Doing your best, as imperfect as it may be, is perfectly human. Good Shabbos, Rabbi Moss  To subscribe CLICK HERE or email rabbimoss@nefesh.com.au THIS WEEK'S PODCASTS THIS WEEK'S VIDEOS live every Tuesday 8pm www.facebook.com/rabbimoss/live The 36 Hidden Saints What does the Zohar say about the 36 tzaddikim who keep the world going? Why that number and why are they hidden? SHABBOS SONGS AUDIO ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To help you recreate the holy energy of shul in your home, here are recordings of the Friday night tunes we sing at Nefesh, created by the super-talented Zalmy Okunov. Download and listen to them during the week, so when it comes to Shabbos, you can be the chazan! Note: they are not to be played on Shabbos itself - nothing can replace your own voice on Shabbos. CLICK HERE OR ON THE IMAGE. ENJOY!  SHABBOS SERVICES & COMMUNITY INFORMATION: CHUKAS-BALAK ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Nefesh community looks forward to getting back together! In the meantime, make your Shabbos special by doing your own little service at home. Here are some instructions. Page numbers are from the blue Chabad Siddur. Don't have one? You can download it here and print it. We will run a minimal Friday Night Service tonight 5:30pm and minyan with Torah reading tomorrow 10am. To register CLICK HERE Friday 3 July - 11 Tammuz Light Candles............................................... 4:40pm Before 4:58pm:.................................. Mincha p101 After 5:26pm........... Shabbos evening service p154 Kiddush............................................................ p179   Saturday 4 July – 12 Tammuz   Morning Service for Shabbos: p5-25, p181-219, Torah readings for Chukas-Balak, Mussaf p234, Kiddush p248.     Virtual Lechaim 1:30pm - raise a glass and have us all in mind!   Before 4:58pm ................................... Mincha p253 Pirkei Avos ...................................... Chapter 5 p286 After 5:26pm ...................................... Maariv p161 Shabbos Ends.............................................. 5:39pm Havdala p297 Latest Shema this week.............................. 9:28am  Fast of the 17th Tammuz................ Thursday 9 July Begins.......................................................... 5:36am Ends............................................................. 5:29pm   This week’s online class with Rabbi Moss (Tues 30 June 8pm) sponsored in honour of Dovid Shmuel Hakohen Weinberger’s Birthday- Mazal Tov!       MAZEL TOV! Michael and Karen Martin on the birth of a baby girl! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Ethan Klein....................... 13 Tammuz/ Sunday 5 July Erykah Skimin.................. 15 Tammuz/ Tuesday 7 July Finley Zev Hasofer........... 16 Tammuz/ Wednesday 8 July HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! Eric & Carol Melman........ 13 Tammuz/ Sunday 5 July   LONG LIFE FOR YORTZHEITS Sam Sharp for his late father Monty Sharp, Monish ben Zelik Ha'Cohen................................................. 12 Tammuz/ Saturday 4 July Carol Melman for her late mother Miriam Shapiro Miriam bat Zoendal............................................................... 13 Tammuz/ Sunday 5 July Jacqueline Eliovson for her late father Victor Behrman Avigdor ben Dov Getzel........................................................ 14 Tammuz/ Monday 6 July Moshe Moses & Adee Moses for their late father Sasoon Moses Sason Hai ben Mazal............................................................. 14 Tammuz/ Monday 6 July David Kessler for his late sister Nanette Kessler Genenda bat Avraham.......................................................... 15 Tammuz/ Tuesday 7 July Evelyn Tobin & Chaya (Clara) Ezekiel for their late father Abraham Ezekiel Avraham ben Masooda.................................................... 16 Tammuz/ Wednesday 8 July Erna Frankfurter & Ruth Cromer for their late husband and father Harold Frankfurter Yehoshua Leib ben Shlomo Meir.................................... 16 Tammuz/ Wednesday 8 July Eric Melman & Brad Melman for their late father and grandfather George Melman Gershon ben Yosef.............................................................. 17 Tammuz/ Thursday 9 July Ruth Lutman & Ronan Lutman for their late mother and grandmother Meda Sofer Mesuda bat Farcha................................................................ 18 Tammuz/ Friday 10 July If you would like Nefesh to include your Birthday, Anniversary or Yortzheit in our newsletter and send you an email reminder, just fill in this quick ONLINE FORM   

Nefesh | PO Box 7349, Bondi Beach, NSW 2026 Australia Unsubscribe shmuly77d@gmail.com Update Profile | About Constant Contact Sent by rabbimoss@nefesh.com.au in collaboration with Try email marketing for free today!