Rabbi Moss: Can You Take a Joke?

Sukkos Events and Times - Simchas Torah Honours - Lunch in Shul - see below

Question of the Week:

My wife has no sense of humour. She says I make fun of her in public (and she's always happy to tell me just how bad I am - even in public). Shouldn't she be able to take a joke?

Answer:

Jokes are serious. The line between a friendly jibe and a humiliating stab is often a fine one. You have to question whether the laugh you may get is worth the pain you may inflict. But between husband and wife, humiliation is simply criminal. It goes against everything that a marriage is supposed to be: an exclusive oneness.

In the Jewish wedding ceremony, after standing under the Chuppa, the bride and groom are taken to a private room, known as the Yichud room. Yichud means oneness and exclusivity. By entering this room, a secluded place where no one is present but the couple, they create a sacred space that is theirs and theirs alone.

The newlyweds leave the Yichud room after a few minutes, but in a way they should never leave it. The privacy and oneness of the Yichud room must be taken with them in their marriage. The relationship between husband and wife is a sacred and secluded place, and should stay that way. Any word or action that jeopardises the privacy and unity of a marriage must be erased from our repertoire.

When you make fun of your wife in front of your friends, you have momentarily stepped out of the Yichud room. You have abandoned your soul-partner, leaving her alone and isolated just for a few cheap laughs. To make a joke is fine, but never at the expense of your oneness.

When your wife publicly criticises you, she has allowed strangers into the Yichud room. She is inviting others into a moment that should only be between the two of you. There is a time and a place for criticism in a relationship, but not in the presence of others.

These mistakes are so common that to many they have become acceptable. But it is these little things that can erode a good marriage. For a relationship to thrive it must always remain an exclusive oneness. Once you get comfortable in the Yichud room, you'll never want to leave.

Good Shabbos and Good Yomtov,

Rabbi Moss

To subscribe email rabbimoss@nefesh.com.au

Meaningful Motherhood and 'Ima Veani' invite you to a Sukkot party.

* Arbat haMinim Hunt!* Snacks in the Sukkah!* Shake the Lulav and Etrog
*Arts'n'crafts *Storytelling * Make your own edible Sukkah

Fun for babies and kids 0-8 yrs

Date: Tuesday 28 September

Time: 3pm-4:30pm

Location: Nefesh Sukkah 54 Roscoe St

Cost: $5

PLEASE RSVP by emailing shternad@tpg.com.au or sms

Shterny 0421 484 770 or Nechama Dina 0425 309 268

SUKKOS AT NEFESH ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Who is the Groom?

All three honours have been bought anonymously and given to:

Chosson Torah - last call-up in the entire Torah: Moshe David

Chosson Bereishis - first call-up in new cycle of the Torah: Saul Creighton
Chosson Maftir - last call-up of the day: Rabbi Moss

All services at Nefesh, 54 Roscoe St Bondi Beach

Sukkos:

Remember to make an Eruv Tavshilin

Wednesday September 22,

Candle lighting 5:33pm, Mincha 5:45pm, Yomtov Evening Service 6:30pm

Thursday September 23, 10am service followed by Kiddush and lunch in the Sukkah all welcome, no charge, donations appreciated
Candle lighting not before 6:28pm, Mincha 5:45pm, Maariv 6:30pm

Friday September 24, 10am service followed by Kiddush in the Sukkah,

Candle lighting 5:34pm, Mincha 5:45pm, Shabbos evening service 6:30pm

Shabbos day September 25, 10am service followed by Kiddush in the Sukkah

Mincha 5:25pm followed by Sholosh Seudos and Maariv

Chol Hamoed Services

Sunday - Wednesday 8am

Shmini Atzeres and Simchas Torah:

Remember to make an Eruv Tavshilin

Wednesday September 29,

Candle lighting 5:37pm, Mincha 5:45pm, Yomtov Evening service 6:30pm with Kiddush and dancing

Thursday September 30, service 10am, Yizkor 11:30am, followed by Kiddush
Candle lighting not before 6:33pm, Mincha 5:45pm

Simchas Torah evening service, big Kiddush and dancing with the Torah 6:30pm till late, followed by dinner at home of Rabbi and Nechama Dina Moss

Friday October 1, Simchas Torah service 10am, Kiddush, dancing with the Torah,

Candle lighting 5:39pm, Mincha 5:45pm, Shabbos evening service 6:30pm

Shabbos day October 2, Morning service 10am followed by Festive Lunch, $20 per person, $10 per child, $60 per family, to book email office@nefesh.com.au by Monday September 27

Mincha 5:30pmfollowed by special Sholosh Seudos to end the month of Tishrei and Maariv