Rabbi Moss: Why Do Mourners Tear their Clothes?

Question of the Week:

What is the reason for the custom of mourners ripping their clothing on the death of a loved one?

Answer:

The experience of loss arouses several emotions. On the one hand, death is a tragedy. A loved one is lost to their family and friends, who are left feeling a profound sense of separation and distance that seems beyond repair. For this reason, we observe a seven day intense mourning period, during which the family sits at home and feels the pain and loss, followed by a year of mourning. This helps them slowly accept the new reality, that their loved on is gone.

But often, the mourners feel that it isn't really true, it didn't really happen, they haven't really gone. This is not just denial. In a way they are right. Death is not the end. Our souls existed before we were born, and they continue to exist after we die. The souls that have passed on are still with us. We can't see them, but we sense they are there. We can't hear them, but we know that they hear us. On the surface, we are apart. On a deeper level, nothing can separate us.

So we tear our garments. This has a dual symbolism. We are recognising the loss, accepting the reality, our hearts are torn, and there is a hole in our lives that can never be healed. But that is only true on the bodily level. The loss is a physical one. But the soul lives on.

The body is no more than a garment that the soul wears. Death is when we strip one uniform and take on another. The garment may be torn, but the essence of the person, the soul, is still intact.

From our worldly perspective death is indeed a tragedy, and the sorrow experienced by the mourners is real. But as they tear their garments we hope that within their pain they can sense a glimmer of a deeper truth: that souls never die.

Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Moss

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SHABBOS TIMES & COMMUNITY INFO: SHABBOS LECH LECHA

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Friday, 19 October 2018 | 10 Cheshvan 5779

Candle Lighting............ 6:53pm (Not before 5:53pm)

Mincha........................ 6:15pm

Shabbos Service.......... 6:30-7:20pm

Kids Program............... 6:30pm

Followed by Kiddush

Shabbos Day, 20 October 2018 | 11 Cheshvan 5779

In depth parsha class ......................9:00am

Shabbos Service............................ 10:00am-12:20pm

Kids Program ............................... 10:30am

Kiddush sponsored anonymously in honour of the Yorztheit of Helen Kleinlehrer this Sunday. We wish Mr Aron Kleinlehrer and family long life.

Lechaim sponsored by Tzvika Berhman in honour of his Bar Mitzvah anniversary - Mazel Tov!

Mincha followed by Seudah Shlishis ........6:50pm

Gematria and Story by Rev Amzalak....... 7:10pm

Shiur with Rabbi Moss........................... 7:30pm

Shabbos ends...................................... 7:53pm

Followed by Havdalah

WEEKDAY SERVICES

Sunday............................................... 8:00am

Mon- Fri.............................................. 7:00am

Latest Shema this week........................ 9:23am

MAZEL TOV

Mike and Sophie Stern and their families on the birth of a baby boy!

MAZEL TOV

Julian and Tal Levin on the birth and naming of their baby girl!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Iliana Lavecky... 13 Cheshvan/ Monday 22 October

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

Rob & Lana Goldshaft..... 14 Cheshvan/ Tuesday 23 October

Carly & David Zalcberg... 16 Cheshvan/ Thursday 25 October

CONDOLENCES

Darren Zelazne and family on the passing of his father Norman Zelazne

LONG LIFE

Stephen Etkind for his late sister, Michelle Holzman... 11 Cheshvan / Saturday 20 October

Diane, Ruth, David and Jonathan Shteinman for their late husband and father Boris Lazarus Shteinman, Boruch ben Eliazar... 11 Cheshvan/ Saturday 20 October

Aron Kleinlehrer for his late wife Helen Kleinlehrer

Esther Bat Yaacov...12 Cheshvan/ Sunday 21 October

Gilda Cohen-Shapira for her late sister Brenda Maraney

Batya Ita bat Moshe Ya'acov... 16 Cheshvan/ Thursday 25 October