What Are You Looking For in a Soulmate?

TEN ROOMS LEFT AT SHABBATON

Question of the Week Things have been a bit slow in the romance department of late, so for the first time ever I contacted a matchmaker. They asked me what I am looking for. I don't want to seem fussy, but I don't want to settle either. So what's the best way to go about defining who I want to date?   Answer:   Here's what you should do: Take a piece of paper and a pen, and write down everything you are looking for in a match. Scrunch up the piece of paper Throw it away Take another piece of paper, and write down your three most important values and beliefs. If you hear of a good person who shares your values, forget about all other prerequisites and date them It is absurd to think that the way to find your soulmate is to first describe them in detail, and then seek someone who fits your description. How are you supposed to describe someone you never met? How are you supposed to know what you're looking for in the first place?   You say you're an outgoing type, so you need someone outgoing. Really? What difference will it make to your relationship? You love rock climbing so you need someone with a sense of adventure. Why? Can't you go climbing with your climbing friends?   Our personalities don't need to be the same. Our hobbies don't need to match up. Our values do. An outgoing rock climber who doesn't share your family values and beliefs about the world may be great company for holidays, but not a great partner for life. But an introverted chess player whose vision for their future and outlook on life matches yours just might click perfectly.   When you approach dating with a checklist, you are waiting to strike the other person out. That is not real openness. Rather come to the matchmaker with simple expectations: I know I am looking for a good, kind person who shares my values and beliefs. On this I am clear.   As for everything else - personality type, interests, intellectual leanings, how loud or soft they speak - I have no idea what I need. But I am open to find out. Surprise me.   Good Shabbos, Rabbi Moss   Based on letters from the Rebbe. See Igros Kodesh, Vol. XXIII, p. 73, Vol. XVI, p. 101, Vol. XI, p. 52. Available in English at http://www.sie.org To subscribe CLICK HERE or email rabbimoss@nefesh.com.au AUDIO CLASSES The Law of Attraction - is it kosher? Finding Hope When All is Lost Wisdom of Tanya Class 1 Can You Be Commanded to Believe? Hadran Part 1 Free Choice - no problem! Hadran Part 2 SERVICES TIMES AND COMMUNITY INFO ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Friday, 29 July 2016 | 23 Tammuz 5776 Candle Lighting.............................................. 4:56 pm   Mincha............................................................. 5:00 pm Friday Evening Service......................... 6:00-6:50 pm Kids program................................................... 6:00 pm Followed by Rabbi's exotic herring and whisky kiddush sponsored anonymously. Shabbos, 30 July, 2016 |24 Tammuz 5776 Chassidus Class................................................ 9:00 am Shabbos Morning Service........ 10:00 am-12:15 pm Children's program....................................... 11:00am Followed by Kiddush sponsored by Reverend Amzalak in honour of the yortzeit of his father Reb Yitzchak ben Reb Avraham on 27 Tammuz- Long Life. Mincha (early)...........................................4:00 pm Barmitzvah of Ariel Weininger Pirkei Avos ............................................... Chapter 1 Seudah Shlishis in honour of Ariel's barmitzvah Shabbos ends and Maariv............................. 5:53 pm Followed by Havdalah.   NEW MOON/MOLAD WEDNESDAY 3 AUGUST | 1:12:2PM ROSH CHODESH AV | FRIDAY 5 AUGUST   WEEKDAY SHACHARIS SERVICES Sunday ................................................................ 8:00 am Mon- Fri.............................................................. 7:00 am Latest Shema this week..................................... 9:23 am   WEEKDAY CLASSES Chassidus..................................... Monday 8:00-8:45am The Wisdom of Tanya................... Monday 8:00-9:00 pm MAZAL TOV TO Nick, Lilach, Omri and Etai Weininger and their extended families on Ariel's barmitzvah!   HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO Graham Hesselberg..........23 Tammuz/Friday 29 July Chana Moss....................25 Tammuz/ Sunday 31 July Misha Lavecky................ 26 Tammuz/ Monday 1 August Erna Frankfurter............ 27 Tammuz/ Tuesday 2 August Phoenix Radus.............. 29 Tammuz/ Thursday 4 August Victoria Hoch................ 29 Tammuz/ Thursday 4 August   LONG LIFE TO Rev Amzalak for his late father Reb Yizchak ben Reb Avraham 27 Tammuz/  Tuesday 2 August Tauba Tanchum for her late brother Leslie Kaplan, Eliezer ben Tevia 1 Av/ Friday 5 August Molly Runds for her late husband Joseph Runds, Yosef ben Shaul HaCohen 2 Av/ Saturday 6 August

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