Thursday, July 20, 2017

Baby Naming Rights?

With much joy we announce the birth of a baby boy! Sholom Zochor tonight at our home from 8:15pm. Bris (TBC) this Wednesday 7:30am at Nefesh.
Wishing everyone only simchas always!
Rabbi Aron and Nechama Dina Moss

Question of the Week:
 
Our baby is now almost six weeks old, but we haven't officially named her. We have a problem. I always wanted to name her after my grandmother. But my wife doesn't like that name because she says it sounds ugly. She wants some other name which is nice, but I think it lacks any real meaning for the family. Doesn't it say somewhere that the father has the right to choose the firstborn's name?
 
Answer:
 
I'm not sure you want to know the answer to that.
 
There is indeed a custom in some communities of alternating the right to name a child between the parents. According to one Ashkenazi custom, the mother names the firstborn child, the father the second and so on. But some Sefardi communities have the father choosing the name for the first son, and then the mother the second son, while all daughters are named by the mother.
 
In your case, following either system, your wife gets to name this child. 
 
But there is a different approach. These systems were only enacted to avoid intractable arguments between parents. That's not the ideal way to name a child. It is far better that both agree on a name together rather than one having to reluctantly concede to the other's wish.
 
The need for consensus is indicated in the writings of Kabbalah, which state, "When a father and mother give a name to their child, they are given a prophecy to choose the right name to fit the soul of the child." This implies that the prophecy comes when there is agreement between the parents, and both are happy with the name.  
 
This is just the first of many disagreements you will have with your wife in parenting your child. Inevitably there will be times when you will want to do things one way, and your wife will have a different approach. You could alternate the decision making, so one day you get your way and the kids are allowed to drink Coke, and the next day your wife is in charge and they only get water. One day bed time is optional and the next it is strictly enforced. 
 
But think what this will do to your child. She needs parents who are united and working as a team, with one voice and one standard. When there are cracks in the parents' unity, kids slip between those cracks.
 
Consider your child's needs before your own, and give her a name that is meaningful, comfortable, and acceptable to you both. May this be the first of many harmonious compromises you make for your children.
 
Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Moss
 
Sources:
Yalkut Yosef Kibud Av Vaem p 77 (Sefardi custom)
Divrei Yechezkel (hachadash) Kisvei Kodesh p61 (Ashkenazi custom)
Sefer Hagilgulim 23
Igros Kodesh v13 p 146
See also Likkutei Sichos v7 p308

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SHABBOS SERVICES TIMES AND COMMUNITY INFO 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Friday, 21 July, 2017 |27 Tammuz 5777
Candle Lighting............................. 4:50pm 
Mincha......................................... 5:00pm
Friday Evening Service................... 6:00pm
Followed by HOT soup kiddush sponsored by The Moss family in honour of Chana's 8th birthday- Mazal Tov!
 
Shabbos, 22 July, 2017 | 28 Tammuz 5777
In depth Parsha Class NO CLASS THIS WEEK
Children's program...................10:45am
Shabbos Morning Service ........ 10:00am- 12:20pm 
Followed by Kiddush.
 
Mincha with Pirkei Ovos Ch 2
followed by Seudah Shlishis ................   4:45pm
Gematria and story by Rev Amzalak........ 5:10pm
Shiur with Rabbi Moss........................... 5:30pm 
Shabbos ends and Maariv...................... 5:48pm
Followed by Havdalah
 
NEW MOON/MOLAD | SUNDAY 23 JULY 10:00:14PM  
ROSH CHODESH AV | MONDAY 24 JULY
 
WEEKDAY SHACHARIS SERVICES
Sunday ........................... 8:00am
Mon - Fri.......................... 7:00am
Latest Shema this week......9:26am
 
CONDOLENCES TO
Jon Shapira on the passing of his mother Judith Esther Shapira, Yehudith Esther bat Shmuel a"h.  
 
MAZAL TOV TO
Rabbi Aron and Nechama Dina Moss on the birth of a baby boy!
 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO
Bentzion Sufrin.........28 Tammuz/ Saturday 22 July
Phoenix Radus......... 29 Tammuz/ Sunday 23 July
Victoria Hoch........... 29 Tammuz/ Sunday 23 July
 
LONG LIFE TO
Tauba Tanchum for her late brother... Leslie Kaplan
Eliezer ben Tevia... 1 Av/ Monday 24 July
Molly Runds for her late husband Joseph Runds
Yosef ben Shaul HaCohen... 2 Av Tuesday/ 25 July
Peter Pakula for his late father Henry Pakula Chaim 
Hanoh ben Yosef...4 Av/ Thursday 27 July

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Nefesh Shul, 54 Roscoe Street, Bondi Beach, NSW 2026 Australia
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Thursday, July 13, 2017

A Lopsided Wedding Ceremony?

Question of the Week: 
 
I am getting married in two months from now, and last night we had a meeting with the rabbi who will be conducting the ceremony. Something came up which I am quite uncomfortable with: the issue of only the groom giving the bride a ring, and not vice versa. This essentially represents to me that I am being purchased. The idea that there is a problem with the bride also giving the groom a ring seems absurd to me. Surely I have as much say in the agreement to be married as my husband-to-be?
 
I know I am allowed to give the ring after the ceremony. However, I want to exchange rings during the ceremony. Gender equality is a very important issue to me. I am a highly educated woman, and I also value my Jewish identity, but I am quite upset about this. I would like to hear your opinion...
 
Answer:
 
I fully understand your concern. Many couples have asked me the same question. Coming from a modern perspective, it does seem a little lopsided for the man to give the ring exclusively. But I believe when you understand the meaning of the ring giving, you may feel differently. 
 
The chuppah is an exact spiritual operation to join your souls together. It is not just a ceremony celebrating your already existing relationship, it is a life-changing event that creates a new relationship. Before the chuppah you are two souls. After the chuppah, you are one. Still two individuals, with two minds and two hearts, but a united soul.
 
We can understand how two souls can become one by observing how two bodies can become one. The act of reproduction is the physical union of man and woman. In this bodily union, the man gives and the woman receives. Only this way can new life be created, a child conceived. That child is an actual manifestation of the unity of the parents. Man and woman have literally become one flesh.
 
The physical world is a mirror image of the spiritual world, and the workings of the soul are reflected by the workings of the body. Just as physical intimacy is the union of bodies, the wedding ceremony is an act of spiritual intimacy, uniting souls. And so in this act of spiritual union the man, expressing the male power of bestowal, gives the ring to the woman, the feminine receiver, making them one.
 
An exchange of rings doesn't create unity, just as an exchange of seed for egg would not produce a child. Only when the groom gives the ring and the bride receives it, then this singular act of his giving and her receiving produces oneness. Any attempt to alter that process would be, quite literally, counterproductive.
 
We can't play around with the facts of life. The spiritual life has facts too. May you and your partner be blessed with true oneness, and from that oneness may many little ones come.
 
Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Moss
 
Sources:
See Igros Moshe Even Haezer 3:18
Rashi on Bereishis 2:24


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SHABBOS SERVICES TIMES AND COMMUNITY INFO 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Friday, 14 July, 2017 | 20 Tammuz 5777
Candle Lighting............... 4:46pm 
Mincha........................... 4:55pm
Friday Evening Service..... 6:00pm
Followed by Kiddush.
 
Shabbos, 15 July, 2017 | 21 Tammuz 5777
In depth Parsha Class............. 9:00am
Children's program................ 10:45am
Shabbos Morning Service ...... 10:00am- 12:20pm 
Kiddush in honour of Gidon and Rafael Persky's birthdays, sponsored by their parents- Mazal Tov!
 
Mincha with Pirkei Ovos Ch 1
followed by Seudah Shlishis ...............   4:40pm
Gematria and story by Rev Amzalak...... 5:05pm
Shiur with Rabbi Moss.......................... 5:25pm 
Shabbos ends and Maariv..................... 5:44pm
Followed by Havdalah
 
WEEKDAY SHACHARIS SERVICES
Sunday .......................... 8:00am
Mon - Fri......................... 7:00am
Latest Shema this week.... 9:27am
 
LONG LIFE TO
David Kessler and family on the passing of his sister Nanette Kessler, Genenda bas Avraham a"h.
 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO
Deborah Bui.........23 Tammuz/ Monday 17 July
Chana Moss..........25 Tammuz/ Wednesday 19 July
Misha Lavecky......26 Tammuz/ Thursday 20 July
Erna Frankfurter... 27 Tammuz/ Friday 21 July
 
LONG LIFE TO
Marlene Franks and family for her late mother Cecily Wolman
Tsovia bat Sabsa Welva..... 22 Tammuz/ Sunday 16 July
Zelman Nissen and family for his late father Michael Judah Nissen Michael Judah ben Avrom           22 Tammuz/ Sunday 16 July
Judy Swaab for her late mother Adel Reves
Sarah bat Avraham............ 22 Tammuz/  Sunday 16 July
Adele Glick for her late mother
Nachama Rieback ............ 22 Tammuz  / Sunday 16 July
Joseph Newman for his late uncle
Cyril Moshe Shostak ......... 23 Tammuz/ Monday 17 July
Brian Schwartz for his late mother Rebecca (Becks) Schwartz
Sara Rivka bat Moshe....... 24 Tammuz/ Tuesday 18 July
Rebecca Steiner-Carrion for her late friend
Anna Fisher, Channa bat Leib..... 25 Tammuz/ Wednesday 19 July
Rev Amzalak for his late father
Reb Yizchak ben Reb Avraham..... 27 Tammuz Friday 21 July

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Nefesh Shul, 54 Roscoe Street, Bondi Beach, NSW 2026 Australia
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Thursday, July 6, 2017

Why Are Jews Always in the News?

Question of the Week:
  
Why do the Jewish people seem to loom so large on the world stage? The numbers don't add up. Here's a nation less than 0.2% of the world's population, yet we command so much attention you'd think there were billions of us. That's like a room of two thousand people, with one puny guy sitting in the corner who everyone wants to talk to (or pick on).... Why do we always seem to be at the centre of history?
 
Answer:
 
Jews do strange things sometimes. One example is the wide-spread practice of "credit combing." 
 
Many Jews have a habit of combing through the credits at the end of a movie, searching for Jewish names. At each discovery they beam with pride: 
Look! Assistant Gaffer.......Mo Goldstein! Catering Consultant........Beth Cohen!
 
This odd practice comes from a very deep place in the Jewish psyche. Jews share a spiritual bond with each other. If I meet a Jew anywhere in the world, there is an immediate connection, a kinship, a sense of oneness. We are like one big family, and even closer than that.
 
When Jews are in the news, we each take it personally. When Israel is under attack, we feel the pain wherever we are. When a Jew wins a bronze medal in croquet, we all share the victory. And when we see a Jewish name in the credits, we get excited. 
 
Maybe other nations do this too. But I don't think so. This profound sense of connection makes the Jewish nation unique among the peoples of the world.
 
This is the reason why statistics cannot apply to the Jewish people.  No Jew is merely an individual. We are a collective soul, a part of something bigger than ourselves. We may be a tiny blip on the census, but we don't work by the normal rules of demography. Our strength is not measured by our numbers, but by our unity. 
 
The destiny of the Jewish people is to be a strong voice of goodness and morality among the family of nations. When we unite with our community and commit ourselves to the shared vision of our people, then we are a formidable presence. Not because we are one billion, but because we are one. 
 
Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Moss

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SHABBOS SERVICES TIMES AND COMMUNITY INFO 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Friday, 7 June, 2017 |13 Tammuz 5777
Candle Lighting..................... 4:42pm 
Mincha................................. 4:50pm
Friday Evening Service........... 6:00pm
Kiddush sponsored by Anthony and Judi Berman in honour of their son Ethan's Bar Mitzvah this Shabbos- Mazal Tov!
 
Shabbos, 8 July, 2017 | 14 Tammuz 5777
In depth Parsha Class............... 9:00am
Children's program...................10:45am
Shabbos Morning Service ........ 10:00am- 12:20pm 
Followed by kiddush sponsored by the Diamond family in honour of the birth of their daughter Nina, and Dovi's Hebrew birthday this past week - Mazal Tov!
 
Mincha with Pirkei Ovos Ch 6
followed by Seudah Shlishis ......................4:35pm
Gematria and story by Rev Amzalak........... 5:05pm
Shabbos ends and Maariv......................... 5:41pm
Followed by Havdalah
 
WEEKDAY SHACHARIS SERVICES
Sunday ............................. 8:00am
Mon - Fri.............................7:00am
Latest Shema this week....... 9:28am
 
FAST OF THE 17TH OF TAMMUZ | TUESDAY 11 JULY
FAST BEGINS 5:36AM
FAST ENDS 5:30PM

SINCERE CONDOLENCES to the Nasiem and Reuben families on the passing of our dear friend Nissim Chai ben Yaakov a"h. Funeral service at Chevra Kadisha Woollahra this Sunday 9am, burial in Israel.

MAZAL TOV TO
Judi & Anthony Berman and their extended families on Ethan's Barmitzvah this Shabbos!
Adam and Nicki Ensly on the wedding of their daughter Liorah to Adear Hayman this Sunday!
Rabbi and Mrs Sufrin on the first tefillin laying of their sons Mendel and Aron this coming Friday!
 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO
Finley Zev Hasofer.............16 Tammuz/ Monday 9 July
Ari Smaller....................... 19 Tammuz/ Thursday 12 July
Rafael Deubler.................. 20 Tammuz/ Friday 13 July
 
LONG LIFE TO
Erna Frankfurter and Ruth Cromer for their late husband and father Harold
Frankfurter........................ 16 Tammuz/ Monday 10 July
Eric Melman for his late father George Melman
Gershon ben Yosef............ 17 Tammuz/ Tuesday 11 July


Nefesh Shul, 54 Roscoe Street, Bondi Beach, NSW 2026 Australia
Sent by rabbimoss@nefesh.com.au in collaboration with
Constant Contact