Thursday, January 26, 2017

Why We Say Shkoyach!

Question of the Week:
 
My conversion process has been a huge learning curve. One of the many challenges is getting my head around all the terminology. I can finally pronounce Chanukah correctly, and I now know the difference between Kiddush and Kaddish (was embarrassing when I didn't), but there is one word that still confuses me: Shkoyach (spelling?). I hear people shout "shkoyach" after the rabbi's sermon, after someone gets called to the Torah, and sometimes even when I pass the herring at the Shabbos table. What exactly does shkoyach mean and when is the right time to say it?
 
Answer:
 
According to the Oxford Etymological Dictionary of Jewish Jargon[*], Shkoyach is a condensed version of the Hebrew phrase Yeyasher Kochacha, literally, "May your strength be extended." Ironically, the word "extended" was shortened, and people didn't have the koach (strength) to say the two guttural 'ch' sounds at the end, so it became Yasher Koach, which when said quickly sounds like Shkoyach. 
 
Shkoyach is a versatile expression. It can be used to say bravo for a great sermon, good on you for being called to the Torah, or thank you for passing the herring. But the meaning is always the same. You have done something good, you should have the strength to do more. 
 
This is much deeper than just saying thank you. Thank you is an acknowledgement of the good deed that has been done in the past. Shkoyach also encourages more good deeds in the future. It is bravo and encore rolled into one.
 
The message is that no matter how much good we have done, we can always increase. No matter how much we know, we can always learn more. As you know from your conversion process, in Judaism the learning never ends. The Talmud says, "Don't be shy to ask, or you will never learn." 
 
So I'm glad you asked. Shkoyach for the question.

Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Moss
 

[*] Soon to be published, B'ezras Hashem (with G-d's help)


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WE'VE GOT YOUR LIFECYCLES COVERED AT NEFESH....




SHABBAT SERVICES TIMES AND COMMUNITY INFO
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Friday, 27 January, 2017 | 29 Teves 5777
Candle Lighting............ 7:46 pm (*Earliest 6:37pm)  
Mincha......................... 6:10 pm
Friday Evening Service... 6:30 pm
Followed by Kiddush sponsored by Malka Kurta in honour of the yortzheit of her late father Alexander Rees, Shlomo Ben David HaLevi on 7 Shvat - Long Life.

Shabbos, 28 January 2017 |Rosh Chodesh Shevat 5777
Chassidus Class........................ 9:00 am
Shabbos Morning Service........ 10:00 am-12:30 pm
Children's program................. 11:00am
Followed by Kiddush.
  
Mincha followed by Seudah Shlishis ..7:40 pm
Shabbos ends and Maariv............. 8:44 pm
Followed by Havdalah
 
WEEKDAY SHACHARIS SERVICES
Sunday  .................................. 8:00 am
Mon- Fri................................... 7:00 am
Latest Shema this week........... 9:39 am
 
WEEKDAY CLASSES
Monday Chassidus.................... 8:00-8:45am
 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO
Naomi Ziv.................... 6 Shvat/ Thursday 2 February
Golda Moss.................. 6 Shvat/ Thursday 2 February
Natalie Dabscheck........ 7 Shvat / Friday 3 February

CONDOLENCES TO
Ricki Corrick, Justice Stephen Rothman OAM and their families on the passing of their mother Anne Rothman a"h.
 
LONG LIFE TO
Tauba Tanchum for her late brother Percy Kaplan, Pesach ben Tevia...1 Shvat/ Saturday 28 January
Annabel Sherell De Florence for her late father, Isaac Leo Sherrel de Florence...1 Shvat/ Saturday 28 January
Adam Ensly for his late father Gideon Ensly, Gideon ben Shlomo...2 Shvat/ Sunday 29 January
Harry Kornfeld for his late mother Regina Kornfeld, Rivka bas Alexander...5 Shvat/ Wednesday 1 February
Malka Kurta for her late father Alexander Rees, Shlomo Ben David HaLevi..... 7 Shvat/ Friday 3 February


Nefesh Shul, 54 Roscoe Street, Bondi Beach, NSW 2026 Australia
Sent by rabbimoss@nefesh.com.au in collaboration with
Constant Contact

Thursday, January 19, 2017

Shoud My Husband's Phone be Off Limits?

Question of the Week:
    
Are text messages private? My husband and I have a major disagreement over this. He gets furious when I look at his phone, saying I have no business reading his private messages. I feel that as a married couple we should have nothing to hide from each other. I am not saying I am at all suspicious of him, I completely trust him. But should his inbox be totally out of bounds for me?
 
Answer:
 
The answer to your quandary is on the tip of your finger. Just look at your wedding ring.
 
We use a ring to get married because it represents the ideal relationship. A ring wraps itself snugly around the finger. It has to fit securely, otherwise it will fall off and get lost. But at the same time, a well-fitted ring should not cramp the finger. It can't be so tight as to cut off circulation. A comfortable ring will hug the finger, not strangle it.
 
This delicate balance of holding on tight but not too tight is the exact balance required in a marriage. Being married means being intimate. When we are in love, we want to embrace our spouse on all levels, surrounding them with care and showering them with affection. We want to share every experience and explore every layer of their being. We want to hold them tight and be there for them every second of the day.
 
But this devotion can go overboard. What starts as inclusion can become intrusion. If we smother each other to the point where lines distinguishing us are blurred, when we invade on the private space of the other to the point where nothing is sacred, we have drifted from being loving to being over-bearing, from supporting to squashing.
 
Even loving partners need space. Not everything has to be shared and not all that is mine is yours. For me to maintain my dignity and my identity, I need to protect a certain level of privacy, a domain that is mine and mine alone. 
 
Each couple has to find the balance between intimacy and privacy that is right for them. Some couples share one email account and are fine with that. Others would find that stifling. Your husband has expressed where he draws his line. You feel differently. 
 
But if as you write you indeed trust him, then his wishes deserve to be respected. Be like a wedding ring, tight enough to be intimate, loose enough to give some space. He doesn't want to feel like he's being bugged, he wants to feel like he's being hugged. 
 
Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Moss 

To subscribe CLICK HERE or email rabbimoss@nefesh.com.au 

SHABBAT SERVICES TIMES AND COMMUNITY INFO
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Friday, 20 January, 2017 | 22 Teves 5777
Candle Lighting.............. 7:49 pm (*Earliest 6:43pm)  
Mincha.......................... 6:10 pm
Friday Evening Service... 6:30 pm
Followed by Kiddush.
 
Shabbos, 21 January 2017 |23 Teves 5777
Chassidus Class........................ 9:00 am
Shabbos Morning Service........ 10:00 am-12:20 pm
Children's program................. 11:00am
Kiddush sponsored by Peter Irving and Libby Moss in honour of the yortzheit of their mother Joan Cohen, Chana bas Yesse A"H on 27 Teves- Long Life
  
Mincha followed by Seudah Shlishis ............   7:45 pm
Shabbos ends and Maariv............................. 8:49 pm
Followed by Havdalah
 
WEEKDAY SHACHARIS SERVICES
Sun and Thurs (public holiday)... 8:00 am
Mon- Fri............................ 7:00 am
Latest Shema this week.... 9:33 am
 
WEEKDAY CLASSES
Monday Chassidus............. 8:00-8:45am
 
MAZAL TOV TO
Joshua and Shiran Garber on the birth of a baby boy!
Michael and Angelina Barel on the birth of a baby boy!
 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO
Richelle Goldshaft............. 25 Tevet/ Monday 23 January
Cade Lessem.................... 25 Tevet/ Monday 23 January
 
LONG LIFE TO
Adele Glick for her late father Mendel Rieback...24 Tevet/ Sunday 22 January
Carol Melman for her late father Arnold Shapiro Aron Ben Yitzchak... 25 Tevet/ Monday 23 January
Judy Traub for her late husband David Traub David ben Yaacov... 26 Tevet/ Tuesday 24 January
Libby Moss and Peter Irving for their late mother Joan Cohen, 
Chana bas Yesse...27 Teves/ Wednesday 25 January
Rosie Stern for her late mother Leah Friedman...28 Tevet/ Thursday 26 January

Nefesh Shul, 54 Roscoe Street, Bondi Beach, NSW 2026 Australia
Sent by rabbimoss@nefesh.com.au in collaboration with
Constant Contact

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Is it Worth Worrying?

Question of the Week:
   
I am a constant worrier. I worry about everything and I know it. Everyone tells me to chill out but I can't. The problem is, I always feel if I don't worry and something bad happens, I will feel guilty forever more that I wasn't worried enough. Now I'm pregnant and am obsessing about what may go wrong. But if I don't worry, doesn't that mean I don't care? I am in therapy, but do you have any Jewish strategies for me to get out of this cycle?

Answer:
 
There is wonderful old Yiddish proverb, which is also said to be an ancient Chinese proverb, and a more recent Indonesian proverb, sometimes attributed to Winston Churchill, Socrates or Dr Seuss:
 
"There are two things you should never worry about. One is something that you can't help, because you can't help it. The other is something you can help, because you can help it."
 
Some matters are simply out of your hands. Life and death, weather patterns and parking availability are G-d's domain, not yours. Worrying about these is not just pointless, it prevents you from achieving in the areas where your efforts are needed. The precious energy wasted on being anxious would be better saved for more important pursuits. 
 
An expecting mother's frame of mind has a direct impact on her unborn child. Your positive thoughts and trust in G-d are as vital for your baby as pre-natal vitamin supplements and pregnancy pilates. Worrying, even with good intentions, is not really caring for yourself or your baby.
 
When something worries you, meditate on this question: Is there anything I can do about this, or do I need to leave up to G-d? Is it my business or His business? If it's mine I need not worry, I need to do something. If it's His, I need not worry, He knows what He's doing. 
 
Worrying is no more than a useless diversion from your real mission. Don't get lost in it. Those Yiddish Chinese Indonesians were right, leave G-d to do His job, and you do yours.
 
Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Moss

To subscribe CLICK HERE or email rabbimoss@nefesh.com.au 

SHABBAT SERVICES TIMES AND COMMUNITY INFO
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Friday, 13 January, 2017 | 15 Teves 5777
Candle Lighting............... 7:51 pm (*Earliest 6:24pm)  
Mincha............................ 6:15 pm
Friday Evening Service.... 6:30 pm
Followed by Kiddush.
 
Shabbos, 14 January 2017 |16 Teves 5777
Chassidus Class........................ 9:00 am
Shabbos Morning Service........ 10:00 am-12:20 pm
Children's program................. 11:00am
Followed by Kiddush sponsored by Michelle Brenner in honour of the yortzheit of her father Alexander Brenner A"H on 18 Tevet - Long Life.
  
Mincha followed by Seudah Shlishis .......   7:45 pm
Gematria and Story by Rev Amzalak......... 8:05 pm
Shiur:...................................................... 8:25 pm
Shabbos ends and Maariv......................... 8:53 pm
Followed by Havdalah
 
WEEKDAY SHACHARIS SERVICES
Sunday  .............................. 8:00 am
Mon- Fri............................... 7:00 am
Latest Shema this week....... 9:28 am
 
WEEKDAY CLASSES
Monday Chassidus................ 8:00-8:45am
 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO
Shai Behrman.................... 17 Tevet/ Sunday 15 January
 
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO
Tooti & Gavin Kotkin........ 19 Tevet/ Tuesday 17 January
Jared & Lauren Kaplan .....20 Tevet/ Wednesday 18 January
 
LONG LIFE TO
Michelle Brenner for her late father Alexander Brenner 18 Tevet/ Monday 16 January
Steven, Kim and Roy Eckowitz for their late father Henry Eckowitz, Chona ben Shmuel 20 Tevet/ Wednesday 18 January
Hana Krawchuk for her late grandfather Isaac Bobrov, Yitchak Bobrov 20 Tevet/ Wednesday 18 January
Lesley Judelman for her late father Sam Steinhard Zalman ben Moshe 20 Tevet/  Wednesday 18 January
Harold Judelman for his late sister Elaine Tudin Ella bat Yisroel 21 Tevet/ Thursday 19 January

Nefesh Shul, 54 Roscoe Street, Bondi Beach, NSW 2026 Australia
Sent by rabbimoss@nefesh.com.au in collaboration with
Constant Contact