My son recently died in an accident. I would like to know if he can see or hear us here on earth. Is he still aware of us now that he is in Heaven? Your comments would be appreciated. Mum missing her son.
Answer:
The mystery of death is one that we cannot truly understand. Why some souls come down here for so short, only to be taken away from us, is beyond us.
But we know that only the body dies, not the soul. And it is the soul of a person whom we love. Our connection with our loved ones is not with their physical presence, but their person, their love, their energy, their spirit. And that relationship never goes away. It just takes another form.
The Rebbe once spoke to a mother who was inconsolable after the loss of her son. He said to her: "What if I told you that your son isn't dead? Rather he has gone away to a place where he is safe and happy. He feels no pain, he has no fear, he has no regrets. You can't see him. But you can send him love packages, and he will receive them and enjoy them. If I told you this, would things be different?"
She thought about it and said, "Well, I guess the pain would not be quite so unbearable if I knew he was safe and I could tell him I love him."
"Well," the Rebbe said to her, "this is the case. Your son is in heaven where he is at peace. And he can still feel your love. The love packages you send to him are the mitzvos, the good deeds you do in his memory and in his honour. When you give a coin to charity, say a prayer, light a candle, be kind to those in need, and you have him in mind, he receives a flow of love from you every time. His soul up there is elevated when down here you do good inspired by his memory. Channel your grief into a positive force. Let the vacuum caused by the loss draw more light into the world."
Nothing can replace the physical touch of a hug, the pleasure of seeing your child grow and learn and play. But he is still with you. And he knows that he is blessed with a loving mother who will always think of him.
We don't know why it has to be this way. But one day, we will be reunited with the souls of our loved ones, and we will understand it all.
Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Moss
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