Thursday, September 8, 2016

My Wife Refuses to Talk to Me



Question of the Week
   
This is a totally hypothetical situation that would never really happen. My wife is angry at me. She thinks she told me to pick her up from the train station, and I never showed up. She waited in the rain for half an hour, couldn't find a taxi and in the end had to call a friend because my phone was off. I am absolutely sure she did not ask me to pick her up. Now she won't speak to me until I give her an apology. Can I apologize when I don't believe I did anything wrong?
 
Answer:
 
I don't usually answer such far-fetched made-up scenarios. But this time I will make an exception.
 
When we say, "I am sorry," we are making a statement about ourselves - I am remorseful, I regret my actions, and I hope not to repeat them.
 
But an apology is not just about you and your feelings. It is about the person you hurt. You don't apologize just to absolve yourself from guilt, but more to acknowledge that you are the cause of someone else's pain, and take responsibility for it.
 
This means that even if you are completely in the right and really did nothing wrong, even if the other person misinterpreted your words or actions, even if you did nothing to regret, nevertheless if someone else is hurting you need to apologize for that.
 
Only G-d knows who is right and who is wrong in your case. But we all know who is hurting. So you need to be big enough to apologize.
 
But beware. If you say, "I am sorry for any pain you felt," it will come across as empty words, as if she has a problem and you feel sorry for her. You need to arouse true feelings of empathy for her, and real regret for your part in what happened.
 
Just imagine her standing in the rain, drenched and dejected, calling your unresponsive phone and not knowing what to do. And in her mind, you caused all this. You owe her a sincere apology. Hypothetically.
 
Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Moss 

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SERVICES TIMES AND COMMUNITY INFO
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Friday, 9 September 2016 | 6 Elul 5776
Candle Lighting.....................................5:25 pm  
Mincha................................................. 5:35 pm
Kids program ........................................6:00 pm
Friday Evening Service.........................  6:00-6:50 pm
Followed by Kiddush sponsored by Vitali Broyda in honour of the yortzheit of his grandmother, Chaya bas Moshe- Long Life.

Shabbos, 10 September, 2016 |7 Elul 5776
Chassidus Class..................................9:00 am
Shabbos Morning Service................. 10:00 am-12:15 pm
Children's program...........................11:00am
Followed by Kiddush in honour of the Aufruf and wedding of Daniel Nadel and Stephanie Sobel - Mazal Tov!

Mincha...............................................5:20 pm
Pirkei Avos ....................................... Chapter 1
Seudah Shlishis
Gematria and Story by Rev Amzalak... 5:40 pm
Shiur:............................................... 6:00 pm
Shabbos ends and Maariv................... 6:20 pm
Followed by Havdalah.
 
WEEKDAY SHACHARIS SERVICES
Sunday ............................................. 8:00 am
Mon- Fri............................................. 7:00 am
Latest Shema this week..................... 8:55 am
 
WEEKDAY CLASSES
Chassidus..................................... Monday 8:00-8:45am
Kabbalah Meditations.....................Monday 8:00-9:00 pm
 
MAZAL TOV TO
Darren and Tracey Segal on the birth of a boy
Simon and Lara Marsden on the birth of a boy
Josh and Orly Borenstein on the birth of a boy

CONDOLENCES TO
The family of David Scholem on his passing last week
 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO
Yossi Segre................................ 8 Elul/ Sunday 11 Sept
Paloma Rochat........................... 9 Elul/ Monday 12 Sept
Deborah Graham..................... 10 Elul/ Tuesday 13 Sept
 
LONG LIFE TO
David Stern David for his late wife, Linda Frances Stern 
Leah bat Yosef.............................. 6 Elul / Friday 9 Sept
Tauba Tanchum for her late father Tevia Kaplan
Tevia ben Eliezer....................... 8 Elul/ Sunday 11 Sept
Beth Lipovic for her late mother, 
Ruth bat Avraham....................11 Elul/ Wednesday 14 Sept
Mildred Stocks and Tanya Stocks for their late husband and father Alfred (Freddy) Stocks, Avrom ben Haim ......................14 Elul / Saturday 17 Sept
 
Nefesh Shul, 54 Roscoe Street, Bondi Beach, NSW 2026 Australia
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