Baby Naming Rights?

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With much joy we announce the birth of a baby boy! Sholom Zochor tonight at our home from 8:15pm. Bris (TBC) this Wednesday 7:30am at Nefesh. Wishing everyone only simchas always! Rabbi Aron and Nechama Dina Moss Question of the Week:   Our baby is now almost six weeks old, but we haven't officially named her. We have a problem. I always wanted to name her after my grandmother. But my wife doesn't like that name because she says it sounds ugly. She wants some other name which is nice, but I think it lacks any real meaning for the family. Doesn't it say somewhere that the father has the right to choose the firstborn's name?   Answer:   I'm not sure you want to know the answer to that.   There is indeed a custom in some communities of alternating the right to name a child between the parents. According to one Ashkenazi custom, the mother names the firstborn child, the father the second and so on. But some Sefardi communities have the father choosing the name for the first son, and then the mother the second son, while all daughters are named by the mother.   In your case, following either system, your wife gets to name this child.    But there is a different approach. These systems were only enacted to avoid intractable arguments between parents. That's not the ideal way to name a child. It is far better that both agree on a name together rather than one having to reluctantly concede to the other's wish.   The need for consensus is indicated in the writings of Kabbalah, which state, "When a father and mother give a name to their child, they are given a prophecy to choose the right name to fit the soul of the child." This implies that the prophecy comes when there is agreement between the parents, and both are happy with the name.     This is just the first of many disagreements you will have with your wife in parenting your child. Inevitably there will be times when you will want to do things one way, and your wife will have a different approach. You could alternate the decision making, so one day you get your way and the kids are allowed to drink Coke, and the next day your wife is in charge and they only get water. One day bed time is optional and the next it is strictly enforced.    But think what this will do to your child. She needs parents who are united and working as a team, with one voice and one standard. When there are cracks in the parents' unity, kids slip between those cracks.   Consider your child's needs before your own, and give her a name that is meaningful, comfortable, and acceptable to you both. May this be the first of many harmonious compromises you make for your children.   Good Shabbos, Rabbi Moss   Sources: Yalkut Yosef Kibud Av Vaem p 77 (Sefardi custom) Divrei Yechezkel (hachadash) Kisvei Kodesh p61 (Ashkenazi custom) Sefer Hagilgulim 23 Igros Kodesh v13 p 146 See also Likkutei Sichos v7 p308 To subscribe CLICK HERE or email rabbimoss@nefesh.com.au  ASK US ABOUT FLEXIBLE PAYMENT OPTIONS BOOK NOW SHABBOS SERVICES TIMES AND COMMUNITY INFO  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Friday, 21 July, 2017 |27 Tammuz 5777 Candle Lighting............................. 4:50pm  Mincha......................................... 5:00pm Friday Evening Service................... 6:00pm Followed by HOT soup kiddush sponsored by The Moss family in honour of Chana's 8th birthday- Mazal Tov!   Shabbos, 22 July, 2017 | 28 Tammuz 5777 In depth Parsha Class NO CLASS THIS WEEK Children's program...................10:45am Shabbos Morning Service ........ 10:00am- 12:20pm  Followed by Kiddush.   Mincha with Pirkei Ovos Ch 2 followed by Seudah Shlishis ................   4:45pm Gematria and story by Rev Amzalak........ 5:10pm Shiur with Rabbi Moss........................... 5:30pm  Shabbos ends and Maariv...................... 5:48pm Followed by Havdalah   NEW MOON/MOLAD | SUNDAY 23 JULY 10:00:14PM   ROSH CHODESH AV | MONDAY 24 JULY   WEEKDAY SHACHARIS SERVICES Sunday ........................... 8:00am Mon - Fri.......................... 7:00am Latest Shema this week......9:26am   CONDOLENCES TO Jon Shapira on the passing of his mother Judith Esther Shapira, Yehudith Esther bat Shmuel a"h.     MAZAL TOV TO Rabbi Aron and Nechama Dina Moss on the birth of a baby boy!   HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO Bentzion Sufrin.........28 Tammuz/ Saturday 22 July Phoenix Radus......... 29 Tammuz/ Sunday 23 July Victoria Hoch........... 29 Tammuz/ Sunday 23 July   LONG LIFE TO Tauba Tanchum for her late brother... 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