Why Are My Feelings For Her Blocked?

Chanukah fun for kids

Question of the Week: The Secret of Reincarnation   I need some urgent dating advice. I have become very close with a girl who really seems to have everything I'm looking for in a wife. We get on well, we want the same thing out of life, and all the boxes are ticked. This is the first girl I have met that I can really imagine being married to. The problem is my feelings. They seem to be blocked. I definitely like her very much, but that overwhelming, deep and intense feeling of love just hasn't come. I know what it is because I have had it before. I don't want to give up this relationship, so what can I do to kick-start my heart? Answer: Love can only blossom in an open heart. When our heart is closed we cannot feel affection, even when that affection really is there. And what closes a heart is fear. You're scared. You're scared of your dream coming true. You have finally met a girl who could really end up being your wife. This is what you have prayed for, waited for, and hoped for, for so long. And now that it is in front of you, you're gripped with fear. It's scary to say goodbye to single life. It's scary to accept that you will marry a real person with flaws and foibles, not an imaginary perfect dream person. It's scary to realise that now you're growing up, and about to start the next stage in your life, with all the joys and challenges that will bring. This is why your heart is blocked. Fear and love cannot both be felt at any one time. They are opposites. Fear is the urge to stand back, while love is the yearning to become closer. So ironically, when you meet a serious candidate for marriage, your heart is paralyzed by the fear that this might actually work out. Your blocked feelings might be a good sign. The fear could indicate that this is a relationship worth pursuing. If you want to give it a chance, you first need to calm your fears. Take a long walk, all alone, and observe what's going on inside you. Admit that you are scared. Acknowledge that it has nothing to do with her, and everything to do with you. Get comfortable with the idea that you may have found your match. Be grateful to G-d who has sent you such a wonderful girl. Believe in yourself that you are ready to take the plunge and become a married man. Let these ideas slowly sink in, face the reality and make peace with it. Once you quieten your fears, your heart will be open to love. Then, if she is indeed the one, it won't take long for the warm feelings to come flooding in. If you want to find love, you have to lose fear. Good Shabbos, Yitzchok Digs Wells excavating hidden meanings Rabbi Moss Sources: Sifri 6:5 "You can't have love in the same place as fear, or fear in the same place as love, except in Divine emotions." We can love and fear G-d at once, because those emotions come from the divine powers of our soul. Just as G-d can handle paradox, so can our Divine Soul. But our normal human emotions when applied to human relationships can't handle opposites. At any one time we can only experience either love or fear, not both.  To subscribe CLICK HERE or email rabbimoss@nefesh.com.au           BOOKINGS NOW OPEN FOR 2019 COURSE   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ALL SERVICES AT NEFESH    1 FRANCIS ST BONDI BEACH   (OFF CAMPBELL PDE, BEHIND NOAH'S BACKPACKERS)   SHABBOS TIMES & COMMUNITY INFO: TOLDOS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Friday, 9 November 2018 | 1 Kislev 5779 Candle Lighting............ 7:12pm (Not before 6:08pm) Mincha.........................6:15pm Shabbos Service........... 6:30-7:20pm Followed by Kiddush   Shabbos Day, 10 November 2018 | 2 Kislev 5779 In depth parsha class ...................... 9:00am Shabbos Service............................ 10:00am-12:20pm Kids Program ............................... 10:30am Kiddush in honour of Yaron Morris' 3rd birthday and Upsherin on 2 Kislev- Mazel Tov, and also in honour of the yortzheit of Aviva's mother, Vidya Wati on 27 Cheshvan- Long Life.   Mincha followed by Seudah Shlishis .............7:10pm Gematria and Story by Rev Amzalak............ 7:30pm Shiur with Rabbi Moss................................ 7:50pm Shabbos ends........................................... 8:12pm Followed by Havdalah   WEEKDAY SERVICES Sunday..................................................... 8:00am Mon- Fri.................................................... 7:00am Latest Shema this week............................... 9:11am   MAZEL TOV Rob & Romy Sperling on the birth of a boy   Paul Khodor & Yehudit Ungar and their entire extended families on Paul's Aufruf this Shabbos afternoon and their upcoming wedding   HAPPY BIRTHDAY Batya Moss.............. 2/3 Kislev/ Sunday 10 and Monday 11 November Yaron Eitan Morris............................. 2 Kislev/ Sunday 10 November Summer Lily Chaya Mushka Hasofer..... 8 Kislev/ Friday 16 November Sarah Meguideche.............................. 8 Kislev/ Friday 16 November   HAPPY ANNIVERSARY Emma & David Stiles.......................... 8 Kislev/ Friday 16 November Michael & Sophie Stern....................... 8 Kislev/ Friday 16 November   LONG LIFE Isaak Krutik for his late mother Lyubov Levitanus Lyubov bat Yisrael.............................. 6 Kislev/ Wednesday 14 November   Brian Schwartz for his late father Kurt Schwartz Aharon ben Avraham............................ 7 Kislev/ Thursday 15 November

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