Rabbi Moss: Has Your Wife Got an Ego Problem?

Question of the Week:

My family very much enjoyed being at your Shabbos table, thanks again for the invite. I meant to ask you a question that has bothered me for years. It's about prayer. Looking through all the praises of G-d's greatness in the prayer book, it seems to be a big ego trip for G-d. Is G-d so insecure that he needs his creations to pray to him 3 times a day, telling him how great he is?

Answer:

We loved having your wonderful family over. You should be very proud of them all.

But one thing disturbed me. Your children behaved really well, but I am a little concerned about your wife.

Every time your wife gave your son anything, like a piece of chicken, a drink, or a toy to play with, she insisted that he say thank you to her.

Your son acquiesced, and each time she told him to, he said thank you. This went on throughout the meal, at least a dozen times.

This is a worry. Is your wife so insecure that she needs her son to constantly acknowledge her? Is it normal to almost force someone to thank you, for even basic needs like food and drink, just to build up your own ego?

I think you get my point...

Your wife was being an exemplary mother, teaching her children gratitude and humility. When you are given something, big or small, you must acknowledge the giver. Her request to be thanked was not for herself, it was for her children. She got nothing out of her son's thanks, other than the pride in seeing her child developing his character. But your son was learning a precious lesson.

G-d trains us to thank Him, like a devoted parent who wants the best for His children. He doesn't need our thanks as much as we need to thank Him. Because everything we have, including life itself, is a gift. The minute we forget that, the minute we take even the simplest pleasures for granted, we stop living a life of wonder.

Parents who do not impart the trait of appreciation to their children are not only making life difficult for themselves, they are robbing their children of a basic tool for life. Only when I see everything as a gift, can I be happy with what I have rather than miserable about what I don't have.

So we should thank G-d for everything, even for asking us to thank Him. Gratitude is a gift too.

Good Shabbos,

Rabbi Moss

Sources:

Siddur, Modim derabbonon

See Talmud Sotah 40a "We thank You G-d for the fact that we thank You."

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Friday, 12 July 2019| 9 Tammuz 5779

Candle Lighting..................................... 4:44pm

Shabbos Service .................................. 6:00-6:50pm

Kiddush sponsored by Tom Moss, Ron Moss and Kathy Penn in memory of their mother Bluma Miriam bas Binyomin Zev on 9 Tammuz/12 July- Long Life.

L'Chaim sponsored by the Shnier family in honour of the yahrzeit of Leib Bergman A"H

Shabbos Day, 13 July 2019 |10 Tammuz 5779

In depth Parsha class...................... 9:00am

Shabbos Service............................ 10:00am-12:20pm

Kids Program ................................ 10:30am

Kiddush sponsored by Michael & Karen Martin in honour of Harper's 1st birthday- Mazal Tov!

Mincha followed by Seudah Shlishis ............ 4:40pm

Pirkei Ovos .............................................. Chapter 5

Shiur with Rabbi Moss................................ 5:25pm

Shabbos ends........................................... 5:43pm

Followed by Havdalah

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