Why No Mourning for a Stillborn?

TANYA BACK ON THIS MONDAY

SUSHI KIDDUSH TONIGHT TO WELCOME BACK Moss FAMILY TANYA CLASS - Music and Out of Body Experiences - THIS MONDAY 8PM at Nefesh all welcome Question of the Week:   Why don't we observe mourning customs for a stillborn? A friend recently lost her baby full term and was told there is no funeral, no Kaddish[1], no sitting shiva[2], no yorzheit[3]. Are we supposed to pretend nothing happened? Why not acknowledge the loss and mourn as we would for any other death?   Answer:   The loss of an unborn baby is a terrible tragedy, and of course it needs to be acknowledged. But it is not the same as losing a child (G-d forbid), and so it is not mourned in the same way.   Jewish mourning customs serve a dual purpose. They help the departed soul on its journey to the next world, and they help the mourners come to terms with their loss.    The soul of the departed has a difficult journey. After being in this physical world it has to now adjust to the other world, the world of souls. Similarly, the mourners have to adjust to a new reality, a life without a loved one who is no longer among us.   By sitting shiva, reciting the Kaddish prayer, studying Torah and observing the yorzheit every year, the mourner helps elevate the soul of the departed to higher places of rest, and helps himself, by channeling the void created by loss into positive action. It is a comfort to both the living and the dead.   None of this applies to a stillborn. Their soul never fully descended into this world, never truly entered the physical realm. A stillborn soul didn't make the crossover to this world, and so doesn't need our assistance to cross back.   So the first reason for the mourning customs, to help the departed soul, does not apply to a stillborn.  Neither does the second reason, to help the mourners deal with the loss. It can't be called a loss, because we never had it in the first place. We were not given this soul, it never entered our realm. It is sad, it is hard, it will take time to heal. But it simply cannot be compared to the loss of a loved one.   This in no way negates the pain experienced by parents of a stillborn. Each individual has to deal with the tragedy in their own way.  But they should not to feel guilty if they eventually move on. While it is proper and good to perpetuate the memory of a departed soul and keep their presence with us always, it may not be so for a soul that was never among us in the first place.   All souls come from heaven. Some never really leave heaven. Such souls don't need any assistance to get back home.   Good Shabbos, Rabbi Moss [1] Prayer recited by mourners [2] Seven days of mourning [3] Observance of anniversary of passing To ask your question, or to subscribe, CLICK HERE or email rabbimoss@nefesh.com.au GOLFERS AND WOULD-BE GOLFERS click on flyer below NON-GOLFERS can you donate a prize or money? Email libbymoss2002@yahoo.com.au SERVICE TIMES AND COMMUNITY INFO ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Friday, 12 February, 2016 | 3 Adar I 5776 Candle Lighting............ 7:34 pm (*Earliest 6:28pm) Mincha.......................................................6:10 pm Friday Evening Service......................... .......6:30-7:15 pm Followed by Sushi Kiddush to welcome back the Moss family!   Shabbos, 13 February, 2016 | 4 Adar I 5776 Chassidus Class............................................9:00 am Shabbos Morning Service.............................. 10:00 am-12:15 pm Children's program....................................... 11:00am Followed by Kiddush sponsored by Moshe and Lucy Greengarten in honour of the birth and naming of their daughter- Mazal Tov! Mincha...................................................... 7:30 pm Seudah Shlishis Gematria and Story by Rev Amzalak............ 7:50 pm Shiur:....................................................... 8:10 pm Shabbos ends and Maariv............................. 8:30 pm Followed by Havdalah. TANYA CLASS Monday nights 8pm   WEEKDAY SHACHARIS SERVICES Sunday ........................................................8:00 am Mon - Fri...................................................... 7:00 am Latest Shema this week................................. 9:48 am

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Sneeze, Schmeeze

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Question of the Week:   I have a question for you ..... it's a little trivial but here goes anyway....  A non-Jewish colleague refuses to say 'Bless-you' after I sneeze. He says it's because I am Jewish. Where did the 'bless you' ritual originate from and is it purely a Christian thing?  What is the Jewish equivalent?   Answer:   Your friend may have a point. The bless you response to a sneeze was enacted by one of the popes during the bubonic plague. So it definitely has non-Jewish undertones.   But long before that, Jews blessed each other upon sneezing. The Talmud records that in the earlier generations, people didn't get sick before they died. They simply sneezed and their souls left their bodies. So it was customary to wish a sneezer "To Life!", for fear that their sneeze was a herald of death.   Things changed in the times of our forefather Jacob. He prayed that one should rather get sick some time before dying, in order to have a little warning and time to prepare for leaving this world. His request was granted, and so sneezing no longer meant impending death. But it still could be a symptom of illness. And so the custom became to wish a sneezer good health - Assuta in Aramaic, Tzu gezunt in Yiddish, or Labriyut in modern Hebrew.   Fascinatingly, one source says that after being blessed with health, the sneezer himself should respond to the one who blessed him "Bless you!" (Baruch tihyeh in Hebrew). Another interesting note: the sages taught that one does not respond to a sneeze while in the middle of studying Torah. Torah study is too holy to be interrupted, and anyway its power will protect the sneezer from all harm.   Indeed these days most people survive a sneeze without any major consequences. But that doesn't mean we should no longer wish each other good health. Words have power. The more we bless each other the better. A sneeze is as good an excuse as any to bless someone.   G-d bless you, Rabbi Moss To ask your question, or to subscribe, CLICK HERE or email rabbimoss@nefesh.com.au GOLFERS AND WOULD-BE GOLFERS click on flyer below NON-GOLFERS can you donate a prize or money? Email libbymoss2002@yahoo.com.au SERVICE TIMES AND COMMUNITY INFO ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Friday, 5 February, 2016 | 26 Shevat 5776 Candle Lighting............ 7:40 pm (*Earliest 6:32pm) Mincha............................................................. 6:10 pm Friday Evening Service......................... 6:30-7:15 pm Followed by Kiddush.   Shabbos, 6 February, 2016 | 27 Shevat 5776 Chassidus Class................................................ 9:00 am Shabbos Morning Service........ 10:00 am-12:15 pm Children's program....................................... 11:00am Followed by Kiddush in honour of the yortzeit of Ewaz Barukh z'l.     Mincha............................................................. 7:35 pm Seudah Shlishis Gematria and Story by Rev Amzalak............ 7:55 pm Shiur:................................................................ 8:15 pm Shabbos ends and Maariv............................. 8:37 pm Followed by Havdalah.   WEEKDAY SHACHARIS SERVICES Sunday ............................................................. 8:00 am Mon - Fri........................................................... 7:00 am Latest Shema this week................................. 9:45 am   NEW MOON/MOLAD MONDAY 8 February 8:47:14AM   ROSH CHODESH ADAR I TUESDAY/WEDNESDAY 9/10 FEBRUARY   HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO Michelle Kaplan............................... 26 Shvat/ 5 Feb Amiell Gold....................................... 28 Shvat/ 7 Feb Linda Isdale...................................... 29 Shvat/ 8 Feb   WE WISH LONG LIFE TO Michael Besser for his late father, Wolf Besser (Zev Ben Koppel) 30 Shvat/ 9 Feb Kathy Barukh for her late husband Ewaz Barukh z'l

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Heads or Fairytales?

PAULA ABDUL LIVE almost full PRE-PESACH FRIDAY NIGHT DINNER COMMUNAL SEDER - click on flyers below to book   Question of the Week:   Every year we end the Seder by saying, "Next year in Jerusalem!" Every year we open the door for Elijah the prophet to come and announce the arrival of Moshiach - the long awaited Messiah. And after more than 3000 years it still hasn't happened. Isn't there a point in time where we realize that Moshiach isn't coming? Haven't we learnt our lesson by now? How many years of disappointment do we need to give up on this messianic dream and wake up to reality?   Answer:   Imagine I take out a coin from my pocket, and ask you "heads or tails?" You say heads. I flip it, and it lands on tails.   So I give you another chance, and flip it again. Again it comes out tails. But you wanted heads, so I keep going. Ten more times, then another ten times, and another, and it never lands on heads, until I have flipped this same coin 99 times and every single time it lands on tails.   You examine the coin. It is a legitimate coin, heads on one side, tails on the other, equally weighted and not tampered with. There is nothing dodgy here. And yet it landed on tails 99 times in a row.   Before flipping it again I ask you, "heads or tails?" And I offer you a million dollars if you get it right, or you lose a million if you get it wrong.   What are the chances that on the 100th flip, it will land on heads?   The answer is exactly the same chances as the first flip and every flip, 50/50. The fact that it landed on tails every time until now has absolutely no statistical bearing on the next flip. It could be tails a 999,999 times, and there is no reason why the millionth time won't be heads.   Just because something didn't happen yet, doesn't make it less likely to happen soon. Moshiach is going to come. The fact that he didn't come last year or the year before in no way limits the likelihood of him coming this year.   In fact, the contrary is true. A coin may never fall on heads. In theory, it could fall on tails every single time forever. But Moshiach has to come, G-d has promised it. So each year he doesn't show up makes the next year more likely to be the one when he will.   But it's more than just a game of chance. Our faith actually brings Moshiach closer. A coin won't land on heads because you want it to, but our faith in a better future actually helps make that future a reality. When we open the doors for Elijah to come, when we pray to be in the rebuilt Jerusalem, we bring Moshiach a step closer.   It's not just in our heads. We will live to tell the tale.   Good Shabbos, Rabbi Moss    To subscribe CLICK HERE or email rabbimoss@nefesh.com.au     SCHMOOZING WITH PAULA ABDUL LIVE! ALMOST FULL - BOOK NOW BY CLICKING HERE OR ON THE FLYER   SERVICES AT NEFESH ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PLEASE NOTE: daylight saving ends this Sunday. From next week Friday night services start 6pm.   Friday Night,  Candle Lighting: 6:30pm (not before 5:34pm) Mincha: 6:10pm Shabbos Service: 6:30pm followed by Kiddush    Shabbos Day,  Spiritual Parsha Class 9:00am Shabbos Service: 10:00am-12:15pm Followed by Kiddush in honour of the birth of a baby boy to Mark and Alexandra Bernberg - mazel tov!   Mincha: 6:25pm followed by Seudah Shlishis   Shabbos ends and Maariv: 7:24pm     WEEKDAY SERVICES Shacharis Sunday: 8:00am Monday-Friday: 7:00 am    Latest Shema this week: 9:03am

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PAULA ABDUL LIVE AT NEFESH

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Yes, she's Jewish. Yes, she's here in Sydney. Come meet her and hear her amazing personal journey.     SPACES LIMITED - CLICK HERE OR ON THE FLYER TO BOOK     Who is Paula? Never before has there been an artist who has been equally recognized, awarded and celebrated both in front of the camera and behind the scenes, as has Paula Abdul. As a ground-breaking choreographer, dancer, song writer, performer, designer, actor and business woman, this two-time Emmy Award winner and multi-platinum recording artist, selling over 60 million records worldwide, has continued to find new ways to entertain her loyal fans for over 20 years.  More recently Paula has become one of the top public speakers in the industry, touring the world to bring her own passion, drive and amazing experiences to touch the lives of thousands. Her story will surprise you. Paula Abdul was born in San Fernando, California, to Jewish parents. Her father, Harry Abdul, is from the Jewish community of Aleppo, Syria. Her mother, concert pianist Lorraine (née Rykiss), grew up in one of the two Jewish families of Minnedosa, Manitoba, Canada. What is Nefesh? There is spirituality that is lofty and floats way above your head. Then there is Nefesh. Nefesh means 'soul' in Hebrew. But more specifically, Nefesh refers to the level of the soul that enlivens the body, the interface between spirit and matter. It is down to earth spirituality. Soul you can get your teeth into. Nefesh is where the soul finds its grounding. Every service, event and class at Nefesh attempts to bring down spiritual truths in a way that can relate to you as you are, right here, right now. Nefesh is bursting out of its current premises and is moving rapidly ahead with plans for a major renovation. From our humble beginnings in the Moss family dining room 10 years ago, the shul has evolved to become an active and energetic community, and is now ready to take the next step in its growth, securing its future for generations to come.   We are extremely excited about this new venture and we look forward to sharing our journey with you.

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