Thursday, July 7, 2011

Honey, I Don't Want Your Money

Question of the Week:


I recently attended a Chassidic wedding. It was a very different experience. One thing I had never seen before is that the bride wears a veil at the Chuppah that is so thick she can't see anything at all, and no one can see her face at all. What is the reason behind this?


There's an old stereotype when it comes to marriage. Men marry women for their looks. Women marry men for their money. As cynical as this view may be, there is some truth to it.


Men fall for beauty. The fact that there are plenty of pretty girls with rotten character does nothing to stop the male quest for a beauty queen. And so, many wonderful girls are overlooked simply because they do not fit into today's narrow and superficial definition of beauty.


Meanwhile, women say they want a man who is financially stable, which is often just a euphemism for a rich guy. Somehow she thinks that if he has a seven digit bank balance he will know how to look after her. As if buying expensive jewellery and luxurious holidays is the only way to show her he really cares. And the really nice guys who are not such high flyers are often left behind.


Of course we need to be attracted to our spouse. And of course we all need money to survive. But these are not the most essential ingredients for a happy marriage. Too often people fall for the outer version of what they truly seek. Rather than physical beauty, what we are really looking for is inner beauty and a sweet heart. It is not wealth we seek, what we really want is a steadfast and dependable source of moral support. Looks and money are poor substitutes for good character and emotional supportiveness. It is only when we see beyond these external features and meet a real person that we have a chance of finding and keeping our soulmate.

This is the message behind the thick veil. When the groom veils his bride, he is telling her, "I am not marrying you for your pretty face. I am marring you for the beautiful person you are. So I can marry you with your face covered. Your beauty shines from within." And the bride being veiled is telling him, "This veil will prevent me from seeing what type of wedding ring you place on my finger. I don't care. I will accept whatever ring you give, because along with it I get you. It is you I want to marry, not your money or the jewellery you buy me."


A rich guy can lose his money, a pretty girl her looks. But inner beauty and spiritual wealth are ours forever. A marriage based on such eternal values will conquer just about anything. The bride's face may be veiled, but her vision is clearer than ever.


Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Moss


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Candlelighting 4:42pm

4:50pm Mincha followed by shiur 

6:30pm - 7:15pm Shabbos Service followed by Kiddush in honour of Nechama Dina Moss's birthday - Mazel Tov!   


Shabbos day

9am Class on Weekly Parsha
10am -12:15pm Morning Service with kid's program followed by Kiddush co-sponsored by Roi & Yifat Amar on the occasion of the birth of their daughter,  and Tom Moss who is together with Ron Moss & Kathy Penn commemorating Yorzheit of their mother Miriam Bluma bas Benyomin Zev Z'L- long life.

Mincha 4:35pm followed by Seudah Shlishis in honour of the birth of a baby girl to Danny and Romy Lessem - mazel tov!


Shabbos ends 5:41pm 



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7am Shachris 



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